What does the future hold?

[worrybum]

Am asking myself this question so often recently.

Have dd (8 years old) and so want another dc but after four successive miscarriages I'm left wondering whether there is any hope.

Also seem to be such a long way off finding any answers, if indeed there are any to be found. Have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic but for any of you that have been investigated you'll know that you have to have bloods taken days 1-3 of AF. Sods law that for the last 3 months AF has arrived on a Friday (just spotting so I start thinking is this day 1 or not?) then of course Sat and Sun blood clinic closed.

Feel so low right, think about it all the time. I know I have one dd and some people never have children and I should be greatful for what I already have and I am, but I can't help how I feel

Hi jj. It's the royal infirmary in Leicester. Prof. Konje.

When I had my bloods done for rec mc, they didn't have to do them a specific day.

Personally, I'd have just gone on the Monday morning in that case - it can't make any difference to be day 4 ish.

I often wonder whether it could be a clotting issue (Hughes Syndrome). I've heard that although many women do not have symptoms thay can have a history of being generally unwell. I have frequent UTIs, skin problems and so many different aches and pains I was referred to a rheumatoligist recently and they think I have fibromylgia. I also had threatened miscarriage with dd at 7 weeks but thankfully all was okay.

Don't know what's wrong with me today. It's nearly a year since I last fell pregnant, have not wanted to try again until tests are done, think it's because AF is on it's way today and it just feels as though it's rubbing my face in it IYKWIM. Can't stop crying today.

thanks for the links and ifo jj

first m/c I wasn't referred to the EPU early enough.....complete miscarriage 7 weeks. Second m/c was a blighted ovum at 7 weeks but sac measured 5 weeks and then m/c naturally. Third was just awful -had spotting and was referred could only see sac so they did bloods HCG levels started off high and doubled in 48 hours (good sign), second scan showed sac growing and feotal pole then third scan showed heartbeat at six weeks, then fourth just showed that it had gone- was as if sac had just collapsed,opted for medical management that time which did not work, went on to bleed for 4 weeks more before they decided I needed surgical evac. Forth m/c only sac and small pole seen at 5 weeks HCG levels didn't double in 48 hours second scan showed all gone

Any ideas?

Have just seen your profile pics BTW jj. They are lovely. Pleased that you are on your way to a happy ending. Congratualations and I hope you have nice easy and not very painful labour!

Thanks for all of those jj. i will go and make myself a coffee and read them. Yes dd is dh's. We have been together for 11 years now. He has to have his bloods taken to only they only want the one vile from him

okay, sorry if TMI but AF started this weekend. Had brown and pinky spotting on Friday and Saturday and then yesterday morning I got up and it had started properly. DH can get away from work tomorrow morning so we can go and get bloods taken which I will count as day 3 of AF right????I'm really confused, AFs never used to be this strange, and I have had a 5 and a half week cycle this month, when I used to be really regular - I don't count the days of spotting do I?

Hi worrybum. Just noticed your post. My head's like mush today so sorry if I'm being dense. We spoke before in Jan when I had my 2nd mc. I've a DD too who's just turned 9. I too am currently having another mc (no 3), this one at 5+wks. What bloods are they taking on the 3rd day of your AF? I had bloods for chromosomes and lupus after mc no2 and DH had chromosomes checked (He's my DD's dad too). I've to go back in a fortnight for bloods to check my clotting. That's all the EPU said they would do, though I have to admit I thought we'd get seen by a special recurrent mc clinic and have more tests. I'm so sorry you're having a sad time at the moment, it's weird how you chug along then bang it hits you again and everyone else seems to have moved on.

Hi Scotlass

I am so so sorry you are going through this again. I think it's safe to say i probably know how you feel right now so let me know if you need to chat. I'm pretty sure that the recurrent miscarriage clinic are testing for nearly everything. I have so many forms (7 in total) to take with me to the blood test room at the hospital. From what i can decipher from what has been ticked on the forms the tests include antibody testing, rhematoid factor, thyroid testing, proteins, anti-thrombin?, hormones, chromosomes, lupus anticoagulant and all sorts of others. In total 23 boxes have been ticked on the forms! How much blood are they gonna want from me?

Basically what has happened is that the clinic have received a referral from go. they have sent the blood test forms to me. I have to go to the maternity blood test room on a weekday when it is open between these days of my cycle with the forms. They will take the bloods and process them. The results will take about 2 months to process and I will then get a consultation for us to both be seen together by the consultant.

I think you should ring your gp and ask for a referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic so that they can run a comprehensive set of tests IYSWIM. My EPU told me to do it all through gp, they do not get involved with referrals. You've had three now so you should be entitled to a referral.

You're right about chugging along and then it hitting you all at once. A really good friend has just had a baby and we were at another friend's baby's christening last weekend and although I'm happy for my friends sometimes I feel so jealous and then I just get really down. Some couples were at the christening who have already had their second or third child when their eldest children were born after I started having my m/cs and that really hits me. I wonder whether it will ever happen for me again .

Anyway, if you feel like talking about it what was happened this time? I hope you are taking care of yourself x

Thanks worrybum, I feel much better talking to mnetters about this cos no one in rl really understands never having been here themselves. They just keep saying things like at least you know you can get pregnant and at least you've got DD and DH! I'm just shattered now, it was a really busy weekend with DD's birthday party and other stuff.

I'm confused cos I think my EPU has done the recurrent mc blood tests however problem is I'm always upset in that place and just want to get out so don't really take it in too much. They're really, really lovely and the Dr says my womb looks fine on scan so I'm not sure what else I should be asking for. I'm kind of resigning myself that it's just not meant to be. Anyway I'll pop back on tomorrow I'm so tired I feel like I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.

fwiw I think I wouldn't count the spotting days just the full on af days but I could be wrong! My cycle takes about 4 months to return to normal after mc I think.

How are you feeling today scotlass? It's quite normal to feel confused about it all. Take as much time as you need for yourself. I remember having the maybe it's not meant to be thoughts, particularly straight afterwards and if I am completely honest I sometimes still do. Then there are times when I feel relly determined to keep going, I think that is normal as well.

I had went for bloods this morning - they took 16 viles!!!!!

Hope you are taking good care of yourself

yikes - 16 viles are you sure she or he asn't a vampire!

I phoned in sick today, got up and sorted for work then DD started moaning she didn't feel well and tbh i didn't have the energy to argue so she's been on the couch watching cbbc and I stayed in bed. Sometimes I feel like a right crap mum!

Stomach is still crampy and bleeding fresh and I've got a virus too so generally feel rotten.

I'm resigned to it now and actually feel a bit detached from it all, I think I'd not even let myself believe the bfp so am thinking of it as a late period. However the emotional implications are well and truly here now and I'm kind of thinking I'm going to let it happen once more - probably take baby aspirin from the off. I think 4 mc in a row with no explanation will be limit but I suppose it becomes like a challenge and I hate failing at anything. Dh is even more stubborn than me so I know he'll not want to give up!

How long ago did you start trying for another child? I feel so selfish cos we put it off until about 18 months ago and never thought we'd be sitting here having 3 mc. DH is in the forces and I've had to be on my own a lot trying to juggle motherhood and career and we finally got our own house, I got child friendly hours and we moved home to be nearer to family and friends and now it just feels like I'm being greedy. I too feel guilty when I think about people who would love to have 1 DC and tbh she keeps me going even though she drives me nuts sometimes (she's full of character!)

Do you know I also hate the fact that everyone knows we're ttc now and I get really embarrassed having to say 'oh miscarried again' - daft I know but I'm normally a private person with no health problems so not used to this at all. I'm thinking of going to the GP just to ask if they can do a mini MOT on me but tbh I never go near a Dr so just feel like I'd be wasting their time.

It's so sad isn't it that there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why and it is hard to see friends adding to their families - you feel so happy they don't have to go through this heartache but can't help but feel a bit . My DH got really cross with me after mc no2 when I was really down and basically reminded me that I had a lot to be thankfull for so I am clinging to those thoughts for dear life now . It's nice I can have a wee wallow in self pity on here though, in private between us

Apparently Prof Konje likes lots of blood!!! . Found this on t'internet today www.bsn.org.uk/view_all.php?id=13883 which i thought was pretty interesting and I also kind of feel as if I'm in safe hands. Appears to be a bit of an expert in the field of miscarriage.

Don't blame you for taking some time off work. DD tried to get today off school too because of her hayfever but I gave her her meds and sent her packing. I must admit she is pretty unwell with it today and normally I would have given in and she'd be sitting watching tv but was determined to have today to get blood tests done.

I know what you mean about feeling a little detached from it all. I think that it's because although you know you are pregnant and you're willing it to hang on in there, at the same time you know all too well how things can pan out so you don't dare get excited. I wonder if I ever get a pregnancy that goes to term again whether I will be able to enjoy it like I did with dd. Think it will be full of anxiety more than hope.

Never really been 'trying' as such. I had dd whilst I was still at university. You could say that she was a lovely surprise!!! That was 1999, she'll be 9 this August. We got married 2003 and my first miscarriage was Jan 2004, 2nd was Jan 2005, 3rd July 2006, 4th August 2007. We have left long periods in between going for another. The weird thing is that I don't really have to try. I don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant (never more than 2 cycles wait), it's the staying pregnant bit that I'm crap at !!!

Had a good cry again today. Rang the Miscarriage Association today and they've given me the number of a support volunteer who has a similar story to ours. She had a dd then went on to have several miscarriages and then had another dd. Think I might feel a bit better speaking to someone who has a positive story to tell. What do you think? That said I am feeling a little less hopeless today. Think that going ahead with the blood tests after all this time is a step in the right direction, as if I'm doing something positive IYKWIM.

I don't think you should be feeling selfish BTW for waiting to try, you did so with all the best intentions and you didn't know things were going to turn out like this. That said I'm a fine one to talk because I often feel guilty that dd doesn't have her longed for sibling.

Did they give you any indication of how long the blood results for your clotting would take after you have them done? Perhaps you might feel better about moving forward once you have got the results. Able to make informed choices IYSWIM

watched your link, that's interesting.

hmmm, think I was 'done' by DD today, she made a miraculous recovery mid day but is now doing the dying swan act again. Just worked out she's watched 11 hrs of cbbc today , have sent her to bed now with a book!! Problem is she's too good an actress, watch out for her on TV in the future. Sometimes they can smell we're vulnerable I'm sure and go in for the kill

I'm glad you feel more positive today and I do think it's a good idea to speak to someone who has walked in your shoes so to speak and had a positive outcome. It's hard to decide whether to take a break or keep going. Mine have all been in the space of a year, DD born in June 99 (I forgot to pack my pill to go on hol and thought I'd start agian when af arrived, it didn't, DD did!), 1st mc at 7wks, June 07, 2nd 11+wks mmc Jan 08 and obviously June 08. Doesn't help that we're trying ttc living in 2 different countries but at least we get 4 days together a month

I feel like it's all been a bad dream really and one day I'll wake up 8 months pg. Told my mum and best friend on the phone tonight but don't know about you I don't actually find it easy to say it out loud and no one really knows what to say so they end up changing the subject after expressing sympathy. Really missing DH tonight, sometimes you just need a wee cuddle.

I've to phone EPU in a fortnight once pg hormones have settled to have clotting checked then I think she said it'd be 10 days - or was it 2 months - I'm terribly dippy sometimes .