Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Insensitive family

6 replies

TheFutureIs · 29/10/2025 08:23

Had a missed miscarriage back in Sept and am visiting my parents at the moment. Trip was booked with me expecting to be about 20 weeks at the moment.
First thing that gets announced when we arrive is that we’ll be seeing my sister and her partner for dinner one night. We’ve never been close, and she’s made some pretty off colour remarks about me/my parenting in the last few years. I’m feeling especially sensitive about seeing her at the moment as she only acknowledged I was pregnant to tell me I can’t have a tattoo while expecting (obviously I’m aware of this) and she’s not contacted me to send condolences about our miscarriage

I’ve said I don’t really feel up to seeing her for dinner to my parents……. This has lead my mum to trying to excuse my sisters behaviour with the line “well it was so early in the pregnancy, she probably didn’t know what to say”. I went to my 12 week scan, expecting to see a 13 week baby, instead to be told it’s heart had stopped 2 weeks earlier (we’d had an 8 week scan and saw a healthy heart)

My partners family on the other hand have wrapped us in love and care. Feeling quite alone, miles
from my partner as he had to stay behind for work

My mum topped it all off suggesting we probably shouldn’t try again as I’m going to be an older mum

OP posts:
HillOf · 29/10/2025 08:29

Well, you have the choice to make other arrangements and not see your sister if you don’t want to? Wouldn’t you be better off just going home, if your mother as well as your sister have form for tactlessness and you’re feeling vulnerable? I’m sorry for your loss.💐

TheFutureIs · 29/10/2025 08:35

Trouble is I have my DD to consider too, and it’s a flight to book too. We’re literally the other end of the country to where we live. I did look at flights last night

OP posts:
Clangershome · 30/10/2025 22:11

As hard as it is, you can use your experience to never say these things to your DD in the future. That’s what I’m taking from my similar experiences xx good luck xx

TheFutureIs · 31/10/2025 06:12

Oh I absolutely would never say things like that to anyone
On a plus they did listen to me about not wanting to play happy families with my sister so I’ve survived the few days we’ve been away. But very glad to be flying back home this morning

OP posts:
Bc87 · 31/10/2025 11:37

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the way your family is handling it.

TheFutureIs · 31/10/2025 13:42

Thank you @Bc87littlw acknowledgments like this mean the world

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page