18 week miscarriage - medical management. Advice please.

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Devastatingly I’ve just found out my baby no longer has a heartbeat at 18 weeks. I’ve just started the medical management process, at hospital, with the mifepristone tablet. They won’t discharge me before the next medication/pessary is due tomorrow, as I’ve had a little bleeding. It will likely take around 48 hours total for baby to be born.

Has anyone been through this and have any advice/experience they could share? Thanks.

I have found out at 16 weeks that there is no heartbeat and had medical management twice unfortunately. Labour feels as painful as I remember it for a full term baby but isn’t as long. I think maybe you just don’t need to dilate as much as baby is smaller.
they were much more generous with pain relief than normal on a labour ward. To be honest I didn’t find this but too bad, you’ve something to do and get done. It’s the quiet after that’s just so sad, and adjusting to not bringing your baby home.
it was 3 years ago for me, I’ve had a baby since so please feel free to ask anything and I’ll do my best to answer.

so very sorry for your loss 💐

Thank you for replying @MrsC2018, and I am so sorry for your losses. I’m glad you’ve had a healthy baby since.

Thanks for being honest about labour pain, it’s good to be prepared. I now know to ask for pain relief asap once pain starts (I already have some light cramping). It’s strange as I’m not on a labour ward, but in a side room in a general ward so I guess (and hope) the midwives will come here when they need to when things progress.

I’m sure I’ll be posting again as things develop as I really have no idea what to expect or plan for. It’s horrible.

I had gas and air for the first one as I was actually on the labour ward, but for the second was in a side room on a gynae ward so they said I couldn’t have it as they aren’t trained like midwives. I would agree with going hard on pain relief, there’s something cruel in leaving you to labour in pain for a baby youre not bringing home. I ended up with a morphine drip for both, I didn’t have the strength to bare pain as well I think. I’m not afraid of pain, I manage with paracetamol after a c section but I think not having to deal with pain on top of everything else on your plate since the news is a kindness they can afford you

message whenever you want to

I had mine naturally rather than an induction but the actual labour part, although very painful, was very quick. It was about four hours from me feeling like something wasn't quite right to him being born. They were absolutely desperate to give me pain relief as well but I ended up with just codeine and gas and air as it was so quick. For context, I was fifteen weeks pregnant and had previously given birth at full term.

I was taken to a bereavement room on labour ward for the birth. We stayed over night with our baby afterwards and were supported by bereavement midwives. Have they mentioned any support like this for you?

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

Thank you @bk1981for sharing your experience. I have now birthed the baby. Perfectly perfectly formed.

I have previously given birth at full term too so I think this helped it be quicker too. Still horrible but quicker than the 48 hours mentioned at the start. Unfortunately I have had no bereavement midwife support, possibly as it’s the weekend. They have scheduled one for 10 weeks’ time….

Thank you again @MrsC2018and @bk1981for responding to my post. Your words and experiences helped me feel less alone / like a rare statistic, and also to be prepared for what was to come.

Im so sorry for your loss OP xx

I lost by baby at 15 weeks and had to have medical management with mifepristone too. During my stay I also had two lots of the pessary, but I had to stay in during the whole stay and couldn’t go home.

for me, from the first pessary to me delivering my baby was 7 hours which is shorter than my other labours and I did find it quite painful but likely didn’t need to dilate much.

Again im so sorry for your loss, do you have a good support system around you to help you through? I am always available to chat if you need 🩷

@MummaDaisy- thank you for your reply. Sorry I just saw it now. That is quite a short time for the labour, which is a blessing in a way.

Thank you for your condolences, it’s comforting to have the loss recognised. I do have some family support, thankfully, even if far away. And I have been referred to Petals counselling. Did you do this? How long ago was your loss? Very sorry for yours too ❤️

That’s good you’re getting some counselling and hopefully it will help you through the difficult times. No I was never referred for further counselling but due in my subsequent pregnancy I was very well supported by bereavement midwives which was great and helpful in times of upset and anxiety.

my loss was April 2023🩷

I’m glad you had a successful and well supported subsequent pregnancy @MummaDaisy❤️. How long after your loss did you conceive again?

Did anyone in this thread ever find out the reasons for the second trimester loss?

Thank you, I conceived with my successful pregnancy 2 months after, although it wasn't smooth sailing as my daughter had a heard defect but she’s perfectly healthy.

I did find out the reason for my loss also, my baby girl had Turner’s syndrome🩷I really hope you can find out the cause of your loss x

@MummaDaisyBrilliant you conceived quite quickly afterwards although sorry to hear about the heart defect, that must have been stressful. Glad she’s healthy now. I’m keen to try again soon but DH needs a bit more time to think and is worried it could happen again.

It must be a relief in a way to know what caused your loss, although of course still distressing. We don’t have an appointment to discuss post mortem results until February, so 3.5 months after the loss, which is difficult. It may not even give us an answer, so I’m preparing myself for that too.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience nearly a year ago. Found out at 20 weeks that my baby had died at about 18 weeks. We requested a postmortem and the results were pretty inconclusive. She seemed normal other than a cystic hygroma which is a bubble of fluid on her neck. She was negative for the most common chromosomal abnormalities, so no real answers there.

Best they could do was guess that her lymphatic system didn't form exactly right.

All I can say is mind yourself. I found myself suddenly very consumed with grief about 7 months after it all happened when I was convinced I had out it behind me. They say grief is cyclical and can come around in waves and I found that to be the case.

@SoreyCorey - thank you for your sympathies and response. I am sorry for your awful loss too.

Interesting about your results; there’s still a lot that is unknown/unexplored in Fetal medicine and pregnancy I think. Unfortunately.

Thank you for your advice about how grief might show itself later and come in waves. I should probably read a book on it, rather than expecting to heal mentally without some work.

We still haven't had the post mortem yet (17 weeks and counting) but all the basic investigations I have had done have come back as normal.

@bk1981- sorry to hear, 17 weeks seems awfully long. Although we are scheduled to get ours mid Feb, which is around 16 weeks so not much quicker. I hope you get them soon. Do you think you’ll try again or is it too raw and soon to even consider?

Yes we are in our second month of trying. I am absolutely desperate to be pregnant again and only waited this long as I had to be twelve weeks post partum for my APS test.