Grief at due date

[Kouklamo]

I feel so sad and don’t know what to do with myself.

Had a missed miscarriage in march, due date was end of September. I got pregnant again end of August and had my second miscarriage early October.

It feels like everywhere I go at the moment is newborn babies (I know September is baby boom month) I know I’m torturing myself thinking these women were having scans at the same time as mine but didn’t hear “I’m sorry there is no heartbeat” and got to take their babies home. It just feels doubly cruel to have another miscarriage on the due date of the first.

Plus with baby loss awareness month it just feels too raw at the moment.

I don’t feel like my family and friends get it. I feel like I cannot acknowledge the grief without someone making a comment like “at least you can get pregnant” or “I’m sure third time is the charm” I don’t know anyone else who has had miscarriages in real life.

I don’t know what I want from this thread other than to talk to people who understand.

I’m so sorry for your losses, I know how difficult it is. I had 4 mc, my sibling was pregnant the second time I had an IVF mc and her DS was actually born on my DD.
Its hard, and people around you who haven’t experienced such a loss really won’t understand, I’ll admit I really didn’t before it happened to me.

There is support available through Tommy’s, they have midwives trained in bereavement support and a forum where you can share with others who know what you are going through. I hope your DP is supportive and you are able to lean on them.

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21893180044&gbraid=0AAAAADojyfbOGu7aWcxNfZd5hRH5BlDrg&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsLGKx-S6kAMV_JlQBh1wAjOBEAAYASACEgJlnPD_BwE

Thank you for replying. I’m sorry about your miscarriages so hard

Very sorry for your loss OP. I had a miscarriage back in 2020 - the due date would have been Halloween, and I always get a bit emotional at this time of year. I went on to get pregnant again and everything was fine, but I still carry that sadness. Feel how you feel and keep talking about it - your feelings are valid.

Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss too

I understand - I’m struggling too. I’ve had 4 losses, and the due date for the pregnancy I lost earlier this year was yesterday. And I’m also 5 days post another miscarriage. It’s tough thinking of what could have been x

I’m so sorry, that’s really tough.

I’m so sorry my lovely, I understand how you feel as I had 2 mc whilst surrounded by friends and family having babies, it really does feel like there are pregnant women everywhere you turn when dealing with loss. I found having the mc brought about lots of complex emotions, a big one being anger, why them and not me? But truth is so many more have faced loss than you realise, you’re not on your own even though it may feel like it. Take good care of yourself as you process this grief, and I wish you so much luck for the future, I write this holding my newborn, so there really is hope out there x

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.
My in-laws announced their pregnancy the day before our baby's due date, complete with scan pictures. It was a missed miscarriage, which we found out at the dating scan. Been years, still hurts. People can be so insensitive.

Have a look into these:

https://www.gov.uk/request-baby-loss-certificate

https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/marking-your-loss/stars-of-remembrance-sky-4/

Thank you for your kind messages and all the links. I really appreciate it.