Missed miscarriage at 43

[CEG1982]

I should preface this that I have a wonderful 16-month baby boy from a successful FET.

We then went again and were fortunate to get pregnant after FET in August and saw the baby at 6 and 8 weeks with a strong heartbeat and growing well. Last week however we had the shock of our lives at our 12 week scan when the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing last week. I am devastated. I had surgical management on Monday and am physically recovering fine.

My life changed in that second. I had a ectopic a few years ago and so know what this loss feels like, but this feels so much greater as this pregnancy felt so real.

I’m also 43. We have 2 embryos left. I know it’s too soon to be thinking this but I wondered if anybody had any advice about whether we should consider trying again? Money aside (we don’t have any right now!) is this likely to happen again? I naively felt that as we had our embryos tested and were doing what we were supposed to, that this wouldn’t happen.

Any stories, advice, words of wisdom welcome please.

I’m sorry to hear this, it is devastating, you feel cheated after the joy of believing the pregnancy was going to be. It happened to me at 28 with no complications, though it had taken us a year to conceive. Sometimes it’s just one of those things (and when you talk about it you will find most women with children have experienced miscarriage along the way, including Mmc). It’s hard to get over, but I wouldn’t attribute meaning beyond it just being one of those things - people quote the 1/4 pregnancies thing all the time. Maybe speak to your doctor about the odds of success with your remaining ones before being discouraged from trying again?