Friend may be miscarrying & Im pregnant

[Unorganisedchaos2]

I have a school mum friend I've become close friends with the past few years. Since I've known her she has had two miscarriages and several before that, she has two children 6 & 11.

A few weeks ago she announced she was pregnant, due to her history she had an early private scan and two NHS scans so far, she's now 10 weeks. She's text this morning to say she's in hospital as she's started bleeding and thinks she's miscarrying.

Im 13 weeks pregnant but only told people a few days ago once I had the first anomaly scan as I have some risk factors due to my age. We've been so excited thinking we would give birth around the same time, making plans etc.

I've obviously said how sorry I am and we are texting back and forth and I've asked if I can help with anything practical but I feel so awful for her. Is there anything else I can say to her? I completely understand if she would want me to keep a distance but I don't want to not be there for her either if that's what she wants.

Message here saying exactly that, you want to be there for her but realise it could be hard so you're standing by but will wait for her and won't be upset if she keeps some distance.

I sat next to a pregnant woman at work whilst miscarrying and I thought I would be OK but some days were far worse than others. I never told her why some days I couldn't speak to her.

She may think she can maintain the friendship and then as your bump grows realise she can't. Or blow very hot and cold. It's very hard to know, and she won't know either. You'll know if she pulls back though, and you'll know why, and you'll just have to let her go. In the meantime, brownies won't make things better but they won't make things worse.

Just be there for her, but don’t be offended if she pulls away. There will be so many reminders of what she doesn’t get to have if she does miscarry.
Hoping she gets a happy outcome. You sound like a lovely friend, and I hope she holds onto you

Thank you for the replies, I'll just be there for her and take her lead. When appropriate we'll have a proper chat.

Thank you for the suggestion of brownies, I'll take a few goodies round later and leave them on her step.

Its just so cruel isn't, she was so excited yesterday, chatting about the plans shed made etc

That is such a wise, lovely post

OP, you're being extremely thoughtful and sensitive, and not everyone would be, so well done you