Returning to work after miscarriage / MVA

[Teadrinker33]

Hi,

I just wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Two weeks ago we had the confirmation scan that the loss had happened at 9 weeks (I would have been 11 weeks). I opted for medical management in hospital as I have had two MVAs (losses at 6 weeks and 7 weeks) and didn’t want a third as concerned about scarring. We also opted for testing as this was our third miscarriage so wanted to be in hospital when I miscarried so that the tissue could be collected (I felt that I would struggle to deal with that).

Had first tablet on Monday, was admitted on to the ward on Wednesday to have more tablets however did not miscarry so was sent home.

I begin painful cramps, bleeding and very large clots on Thursday. Thought might have passed it but partner took the tissue to the hospital and they confirmed I hadn’t.

Opted for MVA on Monday. Had significant blood loss during this (others had been very straightforward). Needed fluids and blood clotting medication during procedure. Was kept in for observation and allowed home around 6pm. Also needed to have blood test at the end of the week to check whether I was anaemic or not. Results not back yet.

I did have a doctor’s note for two weeks which means I should be going back to work on Monday but I still feel so tired and worn out. I feel bad for asking for more time off but just don’t think I’m ready to go back to work. I’m a teacher too so need plenty of energy when I do go back.

If anyone can share their thoughts or similar experiences I’d appreciate that.

I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve had two MC, both at 12 weeks. One started when I was at work. I took a week off work and then went back because I needed to be busy and felt physically well enough to return. But, that’s me, you don’t feel well enough so my advice would be return when you’re ready to. Better to go back and sustain being at work rather than be off again because you went back too quick. Take time to heal.

Miscarriage physically was a lot longer of a process than I ever realised - bleeding and cramps have gone on for several weeks - which is a lot on top of the emotional side of a loss. I am returning to work after a month next week and I am still anxious about it but luckily have a supportive manager.

I would get in touch with the doctor and get signed off for another two weeks and then see how you are feeling - try and switch off from thinking about work during this time if you can

You need to physically recover as well as process what has happened to you emotionally - once you are back in work you are back and won’t get this time again. Everyone is different take your time. I am so sorry for your loss 🤍

I would get signed off for another 2 weeks and think nothing of it. Then decide again at the end of that. You need the rest. You have experienced such trauma, and you’ll feel the effects both mentally and physically. We talk ourselves out of taking the time we need, because we feel bad, or as though we don’t deserve it, but we do. Everyone heals differently, but taking the time for yourself to grieve and heal will do no harm. Work will always be there and as previous poster said, once you’re back, you’re back.

I took 5 weeks for my most recent loss, and even then I didn’t feel like it was enough as soon as I sat down at my desk in work that first day back and was thrown straight back into the stress of it all. We’ll be working the rest of our lives, may as well put ourselves first sometimes.

I am really sorry you have been through this, it’s just not fair x

I went back far too soon after my MMC. I’d been signed off for 2 weeks but panicked that this would mean going back on my busiest day. I was back just over a week after my surgical management and I wasn’t ready. I’m still not 100% nearly a month later. I’ve had wobbly days when I’ve got in and been sent home, others where I’ve managed a day
but then had to go straight to bed when I get home.
I’d advise getting another fit note if you feel you need it. I’m only coping as much as I classes are not too bad (miracle for a tough inner city school) and my colleagues are all looking out for me