Found out I had had a missed miscarriage a few weeks ago at a private scan. Needed to go to the hospital and was offered an appointment at the Early Pregnancy Unit a few days later where they scheduled a surgical miscarriage.
The day the NHS confirmed the miscarriage the nurse, who was very lovely for the most part, was leaving the room and then acted like she’d thought better of it and came to sit with me and my DW. She said honestly feel free to cry - we were upset but had found out days earlier at the private scan so weren’t in floods of tears any more.
She then started to try and console us but honestly the things she was saying felt like a list of what not to say. She said let me tell you a story, I was a midwife and I was in the room when a woman had a still birth, now that was sad. At least that’s not happened to you. I was a bit bewildered but agreed yes that would be sad.
Then she said you know this is just natures way, the baby would have been really disabled, like have an extra chromosome or something. In 18 years you’ll look back and be glad that this happened.
She then joked about how at least I can have coffee now and offered to make me one. I declined and she again insisted I should cry. Then gave me some leaflets to help me decide how best to remove my dead baby.
I don’t know if it’s me being sensitive or if the nurse was a bit bonkers. Is that appropriate to say? She’s not wrong I guess, they say that most miscarriages are when the fetus isn’t viable but I wish she had just kept her opinions to herself. We were really upset as it was our first pregnancy and we thought we’d got over the 8 week mark and we were starting to think that it was really happening.
Anyway, I’m not planning to complain or anything just interested if I’m being too sensitive or not?