Looking for advice and support (Missed miscarriage)

[AnonymousUser101]

I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago and we had a private reassurance scan yesterday. After two different scans it was found that baby had stopped growing a 6 weeks and 1 day and there was no heartbeat. This is all a massive shock as I have had all the usual pregnancy symptoms and I’m still getting them now.

I was told to just phone my gp which I did but they said I didn’t need to see a gp as I’m not experiencing any bleeding or cramps etc. I was completely shocked that I was just left, this is my first time being pregnant, I’ve never experienced any of this before so I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I phoned the gp back hours later and said I want to see a gp so I managed to get an appointment for Monday morning and was just told if i experience any bleeding over the weekend then to go to A&E straight away. Would that even be necessary?
I don’t know what to expect, i feel so scared and completely lost so im just looking for some advice and support please. No one is helping me and I just feel like I’m just being left to deal with all of this on my own

Very sorry this is happening. Have experienced it, many years ago and think this info seems useful and strikes a chord:

Miscarriage Association information

It might help to look online to see if there is an early pregnancy unit near you, some need GP referral, if there is one they might provide information and advice.

I'm sorry, miscarriage care is crap. Essentially if you're not in pain or bleeding heavily, chances are you're fine and there's nothing much they can do physically but there is no consideration for the mental impact.
You should take another pregnancy test in 2 weeks, it should be negative by then.

Unfortunately, symptoms may continue for a week or two yet, whilst you still have pregnancy hormones in your system.

Very sorry for your loss, it is a difficult time for you. GP won’t be able to help you they will just send you home and maybe give you pain tablets. They prefer that your body naturally gets rid of the fetus.

Have you started bleeding? all you need to do now is get strong pain tablets as your body will realize that it is not pregnant and it will start to bleed. The bleed will be very painful therefore tablets will help.

if after a week there has been no bleeding then go to Early Pregnancy Unit, they can offer you a surgical cleaning.

good luck and stay strong.

@cinnamondathank you, no I haven’t started bleeding yet, my body is still very much showing signs of pregnancy still

That is why it is called a missed miscarriage - your body has missed the fact that baby heart stopped 🥺 im so sorry for you.

it may take some time for it to realize and start bleeding. Just rest and wait for your body to naturally do its thing.
I wish you well 💐

Good advice on here.

Practical advice from me is take time off work sick.
Stay home, near the loo, your own surroundings.
Get some Co codamol painkillers but make sure you take them with food and exactly as they say on the box. Write down when you have taken them so you can workout when the next dose is due. (It’s easy to forget or loose track).
Get in super sanitary pads.

Rule of thumb, if despite the regular painkillers the pain is too much or unmanageable and/or if the bleeding becomes a lot (soaking through pads very quickly) then you need A&E.
If you feel like you can manage at home, then do.

Im not sure about the pregnancy test as I once tested positive 4 weeks after bleeding had finished due to hormones hanging around for a long time. Also I’m not sure what meaningful information it gave me. I never bothered testing for the other miscarriages I had. (I’ve had lots),

If there is a EPAU you would be advised to contact them as they can scan you to ensure everything has passed. You can become unwell if “retained products” are left behind.

Its shit xx

I am so so sorry for what you are going through 🤍

How far should you be if you don’t mind me asking?

As someone above said miscarriage care is absolutely shocking - when you speak to the GP you need ask for a referral to the EPAU who will scan to confirm as NHS cant offer any care based on a private scan (I asked the sonographer not to tell us the news again which they were lovely about as I would have found it too difficult to hear it again when we already knew what had happened).

If your body isn’t recognising the miscarriage then they will give 3 options, watch and wait for natural miscarriage (which depending on how far you should be they may not recommend this as risk of infection increases), medication or surgical

It’s such an awful time but services are so crap you really have to push for the right care

Sending so much love 🌺

@ThisZippyViewer
Thank you for your kind words ❤️
I should have been 7 weeks yesterday, I will mention about the referral to the epu when I see the doctor on Monday

You definitely qualify for a referral to EPU - I hope you have lots of support around you 🤍

I found out recently ago baby had stopped at 7 weeks and I was around 12 - I very much felt pregnant with all the symptoms and it is just cruel

If you have any other questions after your GP appointment will help if I can 🤍

@ThisZippyViewer

Thank you, I really appreciate it ❤️

I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience all of this, it is so cruel and just so unfair, I hope you are taking care of yourself and you have lots of help and support around you to get you through this awful time ❤️ sending so much love your way!

Sorry for your loss OP. Was the miscarriage diagnosed with a private scan? I suffered multiple losses although only one was a missed miscarriage that required medical treatment. The others I lost naturally.
Usually a missed miscarriage, if suspected early is rescanned a couple of weeks later to confirm if no obvious symptoms have started.
Private scans are not medical scans so there isn’t a system to refer you for a rescan. I have known women who have had bad news then on rescan found that they are still pregnant. It really depends on who did the scan.
Contact your EPU on Monday. They will be able to advise you and possibly book you in for a scan to confirm the situation.

I’m not a big fan of the private scanning units unless they are consultant led. I would say that they are there to make money. Reassurance scans are only good on the day you have them and without the involvement of a radiologist any information gathered is of no medical use if not reviewed by a radiologist ( doctor that specialises in reading X-rays, ultrasound, CT scans or MRI scans). Just a week out in your dates could make it impossible to confirm whether the pregnancy has failed or not. I think it’s a little irresponsible to offer reassurance scans without the ability to refer to the EPU.

I am sorry for your loss.
I had a similar experience around 21 years ago and frankly The NHS was shit. I actually said to the lady in the EPAU that while I appreciated she dealt with this situation daily I didn't and it would be great if she could remember that.
We actually went Private for a D&C as I didn't just want to go home with painkillers and wait and as you can imagine I got incredibly good care. It was actually covered under DH's work medical insurance but we would have paid if not.
Take your time to grieve, try to ignore any insensitive comments and start to heal in your own time rather than to anyone elses expectations. Be very very kind to yourself.
I ended up having a tree planted in a local forest for my baby and while we aren't religious if I visit a church/cathdral I light a candle.

@Angrymum22 Thank you

yes it was diagnosed with a private scan, as it was our first ever pregnancy and I’ve seen so many others go for early reassurance scans I thought it would be a good idea but based on my experience with them, it’s been awful and if I am fortunate again to get pregnant I won’t be doing that ever again. All they told me to do yesterday was just contact my gp x

Definitely worth asking your GP to refer you to your local early pregnancy unit. I unfortunately have a lot of experience with them but they have always been so caring and understanding and talk you through all your options and give you information on the support there is available out there. Sorry you are going through this.

Hi OP, so sorry you’re going through this. It really is the most horrible thing. I’ve had 3 miscarriages, the most recent being a missed miscarriage found at a scan where I should have been 7 weeks.

Ive had great experiences at private scans before, but also horrible experiences too. I think they’ve given you the wrong info by telling you to contact the GP, it should actually be your local EPU you contact. They can arrange to bring you in for a rescan to confirm, and then discuss options with you. Unfortunately it’s correct that there’s nothing your GP can do, except perhaps refer you to EPU and it’s a little strange they never gave you that info when you rang.

is there an EPU (early pregnancy unit) nearby? At your local hospital? I would give them a ring and tell them you’ve had a private scan, and what the scan showed. They will usually bring you in quite quickly. it’s tough being scanned again, but it gets the ball rolling on next steps. Here if you have any questions at all. Sending love

I had one and went on to have a natural pregnancy and healthy baby so please don't despair.

@CosySocksTTC thank you ❤️ so sorry you’ve gone through this also, I was 7 weeks yesterday when I found out that baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks

Our local epu is referral only but I have a gp appointment on Monday morning so will ask to be referred to them x

@AnonymousUser101hopefully they’ll do the referral then and you’ll feel less alone. The “limbo” feels awful doesn’t it. So confusing, with symptoms continuing, and just very surreal. And sad. It’s a tough time so definitely go easy on yourself and rest.

@CosySocksTTC

It is awful, that’s exactly how I feel right now. I hope you are taking it easy and you’ve got good support around you during this difficult time ❤️