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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Anyone had a D&C? Don't know what to expect.

33 replies

msdynamo · 02/06/2008 08:27

I am having a D&C later today and am a bit scared. Truth is I don't know what it will be like, despite hearing about the procedure from the consultant. How long does it take to recover after? Will there be pain and a lot of bleeding?

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cyanarasamba · 02/06/2008 08:37

Hi Msdynamo, sorry to see you on this board and hope you are ok.

After my D&C I felt a little sore "inside" where I imagine my cervix is, but not what I would call pain. I took things easy for a couple of days and this passed fairly quickly.

Hope things go equally well for you.

berolina · 02/06/2008 08:44

I'm sorry for your loss

I've had two D&Cs. I found both painless, the anaesthetic easy to cope with. I had a very long (but slow) walk straight after the first one - that was fine and it did me good to be moving. The bleeding was period-like or me, dwindling down to nothing over roughly 2 weeks.

msdynamo · 02/06/2008 08:46

Thank you cyanarasamba. I had a MMC at 11 weeks. Found out three days ago. I am glad to be having the D&C instead of waiting for a slow
natural evacuation. The whole thing is awful but i just want to get this part over with.

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cyanarasamba · 02/06/2008 10:54

Mine was a missed miscarriage too (12 weeks). It was a huge shock. I found myself looking forward to a nice shot of general anaesthetic to get away from the whole thing for a bit.

Hope you're not kept waiting too long today. Be kind to yourself and give it time.

Katelyn · 02/06/2008 10:59

I had a D and C at just over 11 weeks. It's completely pain free in terms of the procedure and all over with fairly quickly.

I had a bleed for approx 4 days afterwards and fell pregnant the months after....

Good luck and keep your chin up.

K x

msdynamo · 02/06/2008 11:33

Thank you katelyn and berolina, am feeling very emotional this morning. It helps to know that you've had the same experience and that the D&C will be OK. Have got some brown blood appearing today. I hope I have the op in time. It's scheduled for 6pm.

katelyn I have heard the D&C is good in terms of clearing the womb and therefore there's hope for a conception in the future.

I am trying to look for the positive at the moment!

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fruitbowl · 02/06/2008 16:41

Hi Msdynamo

Just wanted to say hi and send moral support as sadly, I've followed you over here from the Dec 2008 thread. I too showed a missed MC at my 12 week scan this am and am planning to have a D&C.

I hope your procedure went smoothly and you're not feeling to bad. Brave girl! Let us know how you are x

msdynamo · 02/06/2008 23:48

fruitbowl thank you for your support. I am so sorry to hear your news, and so soon after me too.

If it's any small consolation the D&C I had this evening was not a problem. I feel much better knowing everything is gone now and I can make a fresh start when I'm ready.

I have slight period pain sensation, slight bleeding, but nothing major. I hope you don't have to wait too long for your op (my wait was 3 days).

All the best fruitbowl, take it easy and let me know how you're doing. Sending you big hugs >

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fruitbowl · 03/06/2008 09:16

Glad all went Ok with the op MsD. Sending you wellness vibes for continued recovery!

I'm trying to get an appt for my op this am. Hopefully in next few days. My DP has bupa cover thru work which I'm gonna use. Just spoke to my lovely local NHS hosp and they weren't too offended, said they'd do the same and sounds like they could do with one less case as they're fully booked up for the week so trying not to feel a snob about it!

Going shopping later for holiday clothes to keep my mind off things xx

msdynamo · 03/06/2008 11:56

Thanks fruitbowl. I am feeling quite good physically today. Hardly any bleeding. Just a bit low, which is normal. I agree, keeping one's mind off it is the best thing to do. I may go shopping myself later! Also, I had a private D&C, to speed things up.

I have just ordered a three month supply of preconception vitamins to try to build myself up again.

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BeckyBendyLegs · 03/06/2008 15:24

I highly recommend shopping therapy. A few days after I found out I was having a MC I dragged everyone shopping much against their will and spent far too much money while wondering around clutching my poor cramping tummy. I found it hard to just stay at home and do 'normal' things (and still do).

I'm taking the preconception pills too and trying to avoid too much caffine and alcohol. We live in hope!

msdynamo · 03/06/2008 20:10

Hi Becky nice to see you. I couldn't decide which of the MC threads to join, which one are you on?

When are you going to try to conceive again? I think I'll try in about two months.

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msdynamo · 03/06/2008 20:16

And another thing, the MC threads are so depressing. I know we're all deeply sad, and at times it's really hard, but it would be so nice to tune into a positive MC thread that could make us laugh. I think we need cheering up at a time like this. What do you think?

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BeckyBendyLegs · 03/06/2008 21:35

Hi msdynamo I mainly look at 'sad and miserable' and a couple of others. We are all very sad over here but I agree we need to cheer each other up as well. Perhaps we should start a new thread titled something like 'the thread for happy thoughts only'!

I'm going to wait until I've had a period before starting again. I think I just need a short break and it'll be nice to have a month of self-indulgence (I am going to a hen party in two weeks!) before getting back on the TTC waggon again. How about you?

fruitbowl · 04/06/2008 15:11

Hi ladies

I've got my D&C booked for tomorrow am. A huge rigmarole trying to organise it thru bupa including me having to explain in graphic detail to the bupa guy what a missed miscarriage and ERPC means. I DID complain strongly but was sitting on a bench in the middle of town at the time (mid retail therapy) completely undignified.

My other grumble is that when the private consultant finally turned up late for the appointment last night, he starting giving me grim stats aboutr infertility for the over 40s and handed me literature on the services his private clinic could offer. How bloody insensitive. Think I'll wait til his done the D&C til I complain.

Think I'm just in the mood for complaining. Everyone look out!

I think a cheery MC thread is a great idea. Go for it.

I'll keep you posted pot op xx

msdynamo · 04/06/2008 20:37

What a bastard! I'd like to give him a D&C!

Make sure you do complain. I'm thinking about complaining about the nurse in the recovery room who asked me, when I came round from the anaesthetic, where my baby was. I said 'What?', she repeated the question. I said I'd had a miscarriage. She asked how old it was I said 11 weeks (couldn't be doing with explaining any further). She shrugged and said 'its all for the best'! I could have punched her.

Good luck tomorrow, sure you'll feel better after

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sensao · 05/06/2008 19:00

Hi msdynamo ! I am sorry to hear about you loss pregnancy.
I just had a D&C last May 23, no mayor pain. I was walking and doing stuff right after that in the evening. Recover over the weekend, Recover "moraly" more or less after a week. I am feeling quite good physically hardly any bleeding, just spoting (red-brownish). I Believe I am ovulation today. ( it has been two weeks). I have high hopes for a future pregnancy. I am 41, so Ladies I am in the same boat just the wind is blowing a little harder for me!! Take it easy Msdynamo.

sensao · 05/06/2008 19:09

frutibowl and msdynamo, I just read that you had a really bad experience, well I belong also to the same club. I just met the ob-gyn that was suppose to take care of me over my pregnancy, well she was cold, unsesitive and agains "old" woman to get pregnant (women over 35!!). She was clear about ti, I was ready to go to another dr. but she made some test in just 3 days all end up in d&C ( which I did not knew anything about and she was not kind enought to ilustrate me, She just let the hospital people call me for my surgery appoinment the next day adn screw up the ultrasound appoinment. three black days for me. May 21-23. Be careful with all ob-gyns. I do not where to look for one now. please help.!. there is very bad people out side.

littleboyblue · 05/06/2008 19:18

Hi everyone. I've had a total of 3 m/c. My first resulted in having a D&C. I remember being so upset that my body couldn't do what it's supposed to (hold a pregnancy) and I was frightened about what would happen in the op. This might sound strange, but I also took comfort in the fact that although the pregnancy was over, that little tiny embryo that would have been my baby didn't want to leave me. Do I sound stupid?
I had another m/c after that which came away naturally and couldn't decide which was worse, seeing it happen or being knocked out while it was taken away.
A few years later, I settled down with dp, fell pregnant, and my god the fear! But all went wee and I had a healthy baby boy.
I m/c again a few weeks ago, but we sill trying.
Just want to say goodluck to everyone out there. Xxx

fruitbowl · 06/06/2008 10:32

Hi Ladies

I had my D&C yest morn and technically all went well although I'm still shell shocked and completely spaced out. Feel like I've been out clubbing for 3 days on the trot with no sleep - if only!

sensao sorry to hear about your D&C and your experiences of people treating you badly. Could you ask at your local doctors surgery if there's someone you can speak to about being treated insensitively? I know it's hard when you're feeling fragile yourself. Or my midwife suggested writing a letter of complaint. Maybe something to consider for you too msdynamo? How awful that you had to experience that nurse asking you that. Unbelievable.

I was surprised having gone for my op privately at how little sympathy and caring everyone showed me. Except for one lovely nurse who said she'd been through the same thing and welled up, no-one showed any signs of humanity or sympathy with how I was feeling. All the staff did their jobs efficiently but didn't show any interest in what I was going through. Is that too much to ask of people in the caring professions? I was so scared walking to theatre but the nurse who took me didn't say a word to me. It doesn't take much to say "you'll be fine love" or "are you ok" or squeeze your hand or something. I felt like I was invisible.

Hello littleboyblue. So sorry to hear you've had 3 miscarriages, especially your recent one. I hope you're finding some support here on mumsnet. I completely understand what you mean about being comforted by your baby not wanting to leave your body. It does give a strange kind of comfort that it's still there. I didn't want my baby to be taken away - it's part of having to acknowledge that it's over - so, so hard. I hope you feel better soon and good luck with trying again.

At the moment I feel too tired to think about trying again. As an older mum (40) I feel quite pessimistic about our chances but no doubt will feel differently in a few months. I feel so lucky we have our fortnight holiday to look forward to next week.

Take care all you brave ladies xx

msdynamo · 06/06/2008 11:45

Hello everyone, welcome to littleboyblue and sensao, I'm sorry to hear about your recent losses.

I think I am the oldest on here at 44! I recommend this thread for encouragement about conceiving after 40. Everyone is welcome, whther ttc, MC, pg or whatever, the only criteria is age! Two pg women on there are 48 and 49! Several of my friends have just given birth to healthy babies at my age. So we have to be positive that it can happen again. The other thing is that we are very fertile following an MC, which is the good news!

fruitbowl glad your op went OK. I know that time is the biggest worry, it is mine. I try not to think about my MC as my last opportunity, the fact is I conceived after 6 months with my current partner. So I hope I'll be lucky again.

I'm sorry about the problems we've had with uncaring medical staff. I think the caring really has gone out of nursing.

Lucky we have this site for mutual support. My problem at the mo is that my partner has got over it all so quickly, while I'm still finding it hard. It hasn't even been a week yet.

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Mummyfor3 · 06/06/2008 12:04

I have just stumbled across this thread and sorry for your loss and the way you were treated thereafter! I cannot help myself, must give you my 2 pence worth:

msdynamo "wins" on the age front, however I have just had a healthy DS at the age of 42 after 4 miscarriages and D+Cs. Admittedly I was v lucky already have had 2 kids before latest addition.

I found helpful when I had miscarriage to remind myself that is happens to a LOT OF WOMAN, and is NOT MY FAULT. On the upside you have proven that you can become pregnant, which is of course the first step.

It is very hard when you are grieving and upset to stand up to insensitive people, so I found best to ignore and decided that this is to do with the fact that doctors and MWs deal with so many (too many) people in this situation and are too dependent on following guidelines and protocols rather than treating the whole person.

I hope you recover well.


fruitbowl · 06/06/2008 13:57

Hi again MsD, ta for your continued kindness. I'm sorry to hear your DP seems to be over things more than you. Have u tried telling him how u feel? V hard sometimes I know... U know you can always offload here at MN. We understand. I think it must be hard for the fellas as they have a completely different experience of the whole thing. Thanks for the tips re other threads. Think I might go back to the TTC over 40 one before too long.

Hi mummyfor3 sorry to hear that you had so many MC - must have been awful for you. Thanks for being so positive. It gives us all hope.

I'm still feeling spaced out today from the anaesthetic yesterday and tummy's sore inside and out. The thought of wearing any jeans with a belt is ouch! I only have really light bleeding today which is quite encouraging. Emotionally I just feel numb which I guess is normal. DD is at nursery today so me n DP are making the most of just moping about the house as we don't have to put on a brave face if she's not here.

Last night I had some strong stabbing pains in one of my breasts and I was puzzled why this should be. Then thinking about it after, I realised it's all your joined up, your womb and your boobs isn't it? If you breastfeed, it helps your womb contract and some women experience quite strong contractions when baby latches on don't they? Sorry if it's insensitive talking about babies feeding etc. but it helped me make sense of what's happening to my body. Like someone else said, my body was pregnant and then quite suddenly and abruptly wasn't after the D&C so it's having to adapt to what's happened. It sort of reassured me that my body is reacting in the right way, trying to shrink my womb and adapt the breast tissue back to a pre preg state.

I had lost over half a stone as wasn't eating choc but managed a kitkat last night - slippery slope!

littleboyblue · 07/06/2008 15:25

Mummyfor3 is right, it does happen to loads of women and it's not our fault. Most women will m/c and not even know they were pregnant.
Maybe the reason all the staff are so unemotional is because of how much they see and it's easier to be a bit cold and uncaring. For us it's the saddist thing we'll ever go thru, but for them it's everyday.
And I don't care what anyone says, you don't understand what this is like until it's happened to you.
We've contued trying as normal and fortunately this latest m/c didn't hit quite so hard, almost feel an old pro at this. That's a bit sad, but hey, at least we all know WE CAN GET PREGNANT.

fruitbowl · 10/06/2008 18:59

Hi if anyone still checking in this thread? Just wanted to report (graphic stuff coming up - look away now if squeamish)that after 3/4 days of light bleeding after my D&C I started passing clots yesterday. It freaked me out as I thought the bleeding would just dwindle to nothing not come on again suddenly. I rang the hospital and was told from the gynaecologist that this was normal UNLESS there was either pain and / or any offensive smell.

This did reassure me so I just wanted to post it in case anyone else was going through similar and was worrying!

Still bruised and tender 5 days after the op but getting there...

Well wishes to anyone else out there going through it x

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