Baby loss/certificate

[pinkhairmum]

Trigger warning!

Lost my pregnancy a month ago, has anyone got a baby loss certificate and did it help? I still have the pregnancy tests by my bed and I still look at them every night and I know it’s gonna dry out and no longer look positive but I don’t want to get rid and have nothing

Many years ago I had a series of 3 miscarriages. One at 16 and another at 13 weeks pregnant. Consultant could find no cause for any of them which I found very upsetting. I didn't bother with certificates because pieces of cardboard wouldn't make me feel any better but if you think the certificate might make you feel better go ahead and get one. Everyone is different and different things make us feel better or worse. I kept my scan pictures. I still have them. They make my pregnancies real. You might go on to have a healthy baby in time. I would ask if they know why you miscarried.

I have my baby loss certificates for my two losses. I find it such a comfort to know that the certificates are here, in a drawer safe at home. X

I think we are going to get one - we don’t have any scan pictures so I feel like we need ‘some thing’.

I was really surprised at how much better I felt after getting the certificate. It felt like I wasn't the only person in the world responsible for keeping his memory alive, I guess. It was the first time I'd written down the full name he would have had, which felt like I'd created a place in the world for him. (Even if that place is just the box with all the other certificates in!) Can't really express it, but it's brought me a lot of peace.

Our certificate arrived. I really like it - I know it’s not official but it feels like our little poppy seed has some recognition.

We’re going to baby loss service on Wednesday! I bought my friend some baby clothes and I cried the entire time in the shop 🥲 idk what else to do to make it any better because the people I love can’t not have babies

You give yourself time and space, keep your chin up, paint on a smile and glide through the tears. Little by little it stops hurting. My losses were decades ago. They are part of me and life rolls on. I don't cry or feel desperate any more. They were dark times with little explanation and in those days no forums.

One small comfort was that without the losses, I wouldn't have had the children I got and that's an irreconcilable thought.

I hope the service helps. I still light a candle for mine.

I still have the positive pregnancy test for my now 21 yr old son. It is a little yellow but the blue line is still there. So keep your tests.
I kept it because he was an unexpected pregnancy after multiple miscarriages and I thought that the pregnancy would fail like the rest had. It’s tucked away in a drawer and I occasionally come across it when I’m tidying. I can’t bring myself to get rid of it.
I don’t have anything from the miscarriages. Although my beautiful niece is my secret reminder. My DSis and I were pregnant at the same time and were due a few days apart. My niece was born on my birthday and makes up for my loss. She looks like me, same colouring and DS and her were often mistaken for twins, DS is younger but was very tall for his age and she was very small. I look at her and I can visualise what my daughter would have looked like ( the baby I miscarried was a girl). She is a living memory.