Does it get easier

[OneHappyDreamer]

I posted a thread on here back in April as I was pregnant with my first child. I unfortunately miscarried on the 28th April. I haven't been the same since, I have felt like a part of me is missing. I took time off work during the first few weeks of having the miscarriage due to the nature of my job as I work in funeralcare and although now I feel ready to be back in work deep down I know I am struggling with this loss. I Nobody has really checked in on me, everyone has just moved on and I think they expect me to do so as well as I've had comments such as "maybe it was for the best", "at least you know you can get pregnant" My question is does it get easier? I was only 10 weeks when I miscarried as baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, I never saw my baby on a screen and never heard a heart beat and I'm constantly blaming myself. Please tell me it gets easier :(

Sorry you’ve gone through that. It’s really hard but to answer your question yes it does get easier. It’s not always easy but it gets easier. I had a miscarriage with my second pregnancy and I found the same there was a lot of people saying things like “oh that was just nature’s way” and “it wasn’t meant to be” and in general just swept everything under the rug and I was just supposed to get on with everything. Which I did and which you will do, but that doesn’t minimise the hurt and the pain that we go through. My advice is to talk about it. Talk about it with whoever you want whenever you want. It’s okay to talk about it. I wish I had talked about it more. For some reason it seems to be a topic that people don’t like to talk about very much for whatever reasons that is but I think it’s important that we do. Sending lots of hugs. Go easy on yourself.

And I don’t know if this will help you, but it really helped me, after a good few months I went to I bought myself a little angel statue and I put it up in the sitting room just to feel an acknowledgement, a presence of the baby that I lost and I found it really, really helped me heal and acknowledge even in myself what happened and to acknowledge that little life. So when you’re ready, maybe something like that? it might help.❤️

I'm sorry for your loss.

We all grieve a loss differently. There is no right or wrong. I've lost 3 and will never had my own children now. Yes, it does get easier. At first, its something you think about every, single second of the day, but it does get easier. Never forgotten of course, but easier.

Were you given any contact details for a counsellor at the time? You might benefit from speaking to someone about your feelings.

Another idea is to write a letter to your baby to get your feelings out. Some light a candle and read the letter out.

You could also get in touch with the miscarriage society. They have lots of links along with a helpline for support.
https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Remember that this isn't your fault and you aren't alone OP. I'm happy to answer any questions you have x

I was given some details for Sands, I'm actually planning on doing a walk for the Sands charity 100k for baby loss. I am having counselling but it's just super difficult x