Im putting this here in the hopes that the next person looking for info finds my own story plus the experience of anyone else who feels comfortable to share.
I was absolutely delighted to find myself pregnant in 2025, after decades of being told I couldn't have children. I lost my baby at 6 weeks 2 days, and went through an almost full menu of options.
- expectant management by default. I found out via private scan at 8 weeks, them had to wait a further week for a nhs scan and another week for the second nhs scan. It then took another week or two for my hospital appt. All nerve wracking in terms of checking every time I wiped for blood and feeling like walking crypt amongst happy people. The downside here is that all existing pregancy symptoms continue. I even had some new ones crop up after realising my loss (metallic taste in mouth hello).
- Mmc- sore but not unbearable. Only on ward, more blood than you would expect and plan for the shits at least once. MMC both ways, because both ways failed. This was both pessary and cheek pills, and I feel like someone should mention the anal pessary you get too (breathe out when theh push in). No orifice is safe. Should someone come across this worried about pain - if you have ever been investigated for pcos or endometriosis you'll likely be fine. For me it wasn't far off a horrible period cramp that lasted 8 hours. Unfortunately for me I have the body measurements of a frigid garden gnome and despite the medicine working as planned I couldn't pass the required tissue. We even tried tugging it manually without pain relief - no joy by any measurement. The pain is not unbearable, but it's not pleasant either and unless you do it in hospital there isn't a way of knowing it worked. In hindsight, if asked to do it at home I'd insist on the surgical option. Basically you cramp and pee into a bedpan for hours and hope it works. It didn't for me.
- surgical management. My consultant didn't give me the choice in the end because of the risk of haemorrhage/emergency surgery. Under general anaesthetic, kept in for 4 hours after. I was bereft after this, maybe because of the lack of control. Totally painless and if you dont want to feel every aspect then this is for you. I know many opt for this but I wish the mmc worked and I had more control. I cannot fault any of the nhs staff, they were kind, compassionate and gentle at all times - all of them, even auxiliary and anaesthetic staff. Every single one was lovely.
Expect cramps or a day or 2 afterwards. A total hormone crash for at least a week.
If you ever want more detail or support, or a "is this normal" then message me. My best advice is people who can treat you normally before and afterwards and let yourself really cry because its absolutely shit.
I hope if you find this because you are asked to decide how to manage your miscarriage it is useful, and that anyone reading this finds the thing that makes them happy.