I am posting here as I am reaching out for any stories that are similar at all? I’m really searching for someone who like me ‘disassociated’ on hearing the news that the pregnancy was in the wrong place.
the long story is very long with details and different levels.
the short story is it was a planned pregnancy. It felt wrong / odd from the offset with varying details / symptoms here. I have had many miscarriages and I have 2 beautiful children. I went to the gp with my concern of a miscarry - I was referred to EPU and they called and said they would check for an ectopic based on my symptoms. I went thinking they would confirm miscarry. So I was very shocked when it was there…. But, the scan was long, really long, very quiet, questions about my uterus and at the end said it was in the wrong place. The nurse then said it is in the wrong place and it can’t grow there etc etc dangerous etc etc. I was in shock at there even being something there and left with all this information in my head but I felt happy and was imagining 3 etc. I told my husband shortly after and it was at this point I believe my brain shut down and disassociated (I have been seeing a counsellor since so I know this happened now but didn’t at the time).
I was told I had to wait a week. I was suffering panic in the night but spent my days fine but out of sorts (dissociated) and looking after my children. The next scan came along and was much longer and questions about my uterus and they agreed with the previous weeks sonographer. They couldn’t give me a definitive answer due to no consultant on. I asked what would happen in the d and c etc as I thought this was what would happen from my scans. I was half freaking out by then and couldn’t understand why they left me and it could rupture etc. I received a call from the nurse after day later and was told the consultant said it was normal. I asked how that can be from 2 sonographers and 2 nurses over 2 weeks saying it was wrong and the nurse replied it is just the consultants say.
there are many details missed out but this is essentially what happened. I also had my own underline ‘how am I going to do it all again’ which I now consider to be a normal reaction to having 2 at home and wanting a 3 but feeling overwhelmed.
my mum and husband were sceptical of the consultant and why I hadn’t had any reassurance etc etc. my symptoms led me to believe something was wrong and then the hospital went on the tell me something was wrong. My husband thought something would go wrong down the line. I disassociated and wanted the stress to stop and took a pill to end the pregnancy soon after. I was very early. I feel very much like this is a TFMR. But I’m not sure I can claim this given it was overturned. That’s why I have gone with posting it in this thread as I wish not to offend anyone on this thread but I feel like this is what happened. I am such a maternal mummy and wanted to be here safe and healthy for my 2 children.
i can’t get me head around what happened and if it would have continued and been safe and fine or not and risky to my health or not a good outcome. It felt risky, it felt unviable. I am looking for perhaps a similar story but I’m not sure I will find one. A story where the medical staff could have been better, led you to believe something that may or may not have been true. A termination that may not have happened.
thank you for reading and please no judge or bad vibes as I have really struggled with all of this. I am just looking for similar.