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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Treated unfairly during miscarriage

3 replies

PCOSAdvocate · 11/08/2025 16:28

I fell ‘ill’ during a work meeting which was tense so I persevered, after the meeting I found I had bled so severely, I bled through a tampon, pad and my underwear and jeans. I’d had bad cramping for days prior and assumed this was a bad period.
The pain and bleeding worsened and I ended up being referred to A&E by out of hours and it was confirmed I was miscarrying (I wasn’t aware I was pregnant). I messaged my boss shortly after leaving hospital to advise him and to let him know there was a chance I wouldn’t be at work today (Monday) as a result.
I returned to work as normal and told him I’d do what I could and see how got on. After lunch, I felt very uncomfortable given I am still actively bleeding with cramping and asked to log off early. He responded instantly to state his preference is that I work the time back but if I wanted to take a half day to cover the 1.5 hours today and take the remaining time tomorrow, I could.
Another employee I am very friendly with suffered a loss earlier this year with some differing circumstances and while I would never ever compare our situations, I have since asked if the time she was required to have off was taken from her as annual leave. She has confirmed she was given 1 week compassionate leave followed by a week taken as annual leave.
(for context, she had a missed miscarriage and developed symptoms at around 9 weeks on the same day she told our boss she was pregnant as she felt she needed to given a work commitment she wasn’t able to attend).
I have a report from the hospital as I’m on the ‘MyCare’ system for other medical visits so I have since sent this to my boss and asked him to have this on record as it almost feels as if he doesn’t believe me or is treating me differently as I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time.
I am horribly upset given what I am already dealing with, especially physically to now be shown no compassion whatsoever.
Has anyone been through similar - am I overreacting?

OP posts:
tartyflette · 11/08/2025 16:33

No. I was unfortunate enough to start miscarrying at work several years ago and they sent me home in a taxi immediately.
I had to have a D&C so was off work for several days afterwards.
Your boss seems to be entirely lacking in compassion or care. Surely this will come under time off for sickness, accident etc?
Can you talk to your HR department about it, if there is one?

PCOSAdvocate · 11/08/2025 16:43

tartyflette · 11/08/2025 16:33

No. I was unfortunate enough to start miscarrying at work several years ago and they sent me home in a taxi immediately.
I had to have a D&C so was off work for several days afterwards.
Your boss seems to be entirely lacking in compassion or care. Surely this will come under time off for sickness, accident etc?
Can you talk to your HR department about it, if there is one?

We unfortunately don’t have a HR department and given I report to director level, there isn’t even an avenue to take this higher. There’s also no females in higher positions I can discuss this with, I would be considered the highest ranking female in the company by title. This whole situation has added so much more upset to everything when I thought I was coping relatively well - outside of the physical side which has been incredibly tough

OP posts:
FullOfMomsense · 11/08/2025 17:05

I would suggest speaking to your GP/a medical professional to get booked off work. You need to recover, and your incompetent boss needs to realise how serious this is.

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