TTC after miscarriage aged 39

[Olive24Rose21]

Hi, I had a miscarriage in February, at 12 weeks. We started trying again pretty much right away, but so far nothing's happening. I know it's still not been that long, but I turn 40 in December and I'm so worried that the last pregnancy was my last chance (I have 2 children already but am desperate for another one). I've had fertility tests and I have very low egg reserve, but I still seem to be ovulating every month. Was just wondering if anyone had any success stories in a similar situation?

Also am really still struggling with the grief after the miscarriage. I didn't have any time off work, which was a mistake but it's too late now. I'm finding work really stressful, and together with the stress of trying to conceive, and feeling devastated every month when I get my period, I just feel really tired and burnt out. Would be nice to hear from someone who's felt similarly, as it can feel really lonely.

@Olive24Rose21 I just wanted to reach out as I can really resonate. I’m 41 have been going through fertility treatment for past 5 years. (Same sex couple) have had a miscarriage in Jan, and it is still affecting me now. I have one more embryo left, but I am petrified it’s not going to work. I wish I could say I have had success, and I also would like to hear of some good news from people. But just felt I needed to message

So sorry, that sounds so tough. It's just so emotionally draining to not have any control over whether things work out or not. And it's so hard not to obsess over how different things would have been without the miscarriage.

I’m sorry but at 40, I would probably accept that it’s not meant to be and appreciate the two children you have got.

so many women in your situation can’t have children at all.

@Olive24Rose21 agreed. I am constantly thinking what if it was something I did, could it have been a different outcome.
@simsbustinoutmimi i’m not sure how helpful that comment is, ‘accept it’s not meant to be’ is easier said than done. I am 41 and still want to have some hope, also 40 does not mean it’s done, many women have children successfully over 40

This woman posting already has children.

@simsbustinoutmimi yes I know. I just don’t know how helpful it is saying to her ‘accept it’s not meant to be’. When you are desperately trying, it’s had to accept, no matter how many other children you have or don’t have.
I was also just commenting that it is possible to have children over 40 so maybe she doesn’t have to loose hope

I also have 3 wonderful children and have been trying for a 4th child. I am 40. I have just stopped breastfeeding my 3 year old so hoping to have some luck in the next 6-8 months or so. If it doesn’t happen after this time then we will stop trying. I have had 3 miscarriages in 13 months, not sure if it could have been to do with an imbalance of progesterone due to breastfeeding or whether the eggs were just not viable, which of course is a common occurrence amongst many of us.

Ignore the negative post. Just not worth responding to!

What supplements are you taking@Olive24Rose21?

I'm so sorry you're going through this and feeling so rubbish. I'm 42 and have had 2 miscarriages in the past year. I am now under the care of a recurrent miscarriage clinic who have said I have a really good chance- there is definitely hope.

I'll share the list of supplements and advice they give to everyone in case it's helpful. I have definitely felt more energetic and my skin and hair has improved over the past few months, so perhaps there's something in it:

600mg Coq10
Omega 3
2000 IU Vitamin D3
Prenatal

I've also upped my water consumption and am eating more protein and fiber and have vastly reduced sugar and UPF intake. First cycle trying and perhaps I'm wasting my time, but I'm sure like others I want to know I've given it everything I've got. Sending you a big hug and wishing you lots and lots of luck.

@Fletchasketch your post is extremely useful, thank you for listing all the supplements. I’m on all of that too apart from Omega and prenatal, but think I am going to introduce these for this one. Have you ever added in or be advised to add in a microdose of aspirin?

Im so sorry your struggling, I'm also in your position, we had a loss at 11 weeks last October, when my first was 17 months

I was 40 in March and we've been trying since April, I got pregnant straight away with the last 2 so looks like it might not happen again for us

And I can completely relate to the stress and disappointment every month, Iv also been really weepy all the time and think subconsciously this is why, I have no solution but please know your not alone 💕

You can still get a Dr sick not now if you need time off to heal, it's not too late and it's traumatic as your reliving it every month

@Isittime1984 no problem. Yes, forgot to mention that one. I'm taking 75mg every evening after dinner.

@Fletchasketch thanks. I’ve been reading a lot about the benefits of it. Out of interest did you add the aspirin yourself, or was it recommended to you?

It was recommended by the miscarriage clinic. The NHS however said not to take it until 12 weeks though so hard to know. On reflection, I wish I'd taken it in my last two pregnancies- many people seem to have success with it.

Hi ladies,

@Fletchasketch did they not recommend vitamin E too? I’ve heard some clinics do. I’m waiting to be referred by my GP. So interesting isn’t it what success women have had tweeking certain things. I might try to Aspirin too. It’s worth a shot.

I followed some guidance from “It starts with an egg book” and I’m taking;

Omega 3
4000 Vitamin D
250 Vitamin E
400 Ubiquinol
800 Methylfolate

Only been taking these things for a few weeks since my last miscarriage. I was already taking the Methylfolate but I upped the
dose by 400mg and I was also taking the Omega 3. I try and get the rest of what I need through a very strict and clean diet I started around a month ago.

I hope we all get some luck real soon and I’m sorry what you have all had to go through 💐

@BabyBorn vitamin E wasn't suggested to me. Hopefully I consume enough anyway with nuts, avocado etc. The range of supplements is utterly bewildering and some of them are so expensive. I know there are more/different ones I could be taking but you have to draw the line somewhere. A healthy diet will go a long way I'm sure. Wishing you and everyone else TTC lots of luck.

Hi @Fletchasketch i thought I would ask as my friend that had IVF (same sex marriage) was told by her IVF consultant to take the Vitamin E, and my friend suggested I should give it a go! Glad you eat a good variety. It’s all such a minefield and yes I didn’t want to be on too many supplements either 🥴. Definitely an expense but worth it for this to work for us! 🍀 Lots of luck to you too! 🍀

Thanks everyone for your kind words, and so sorry to everyone who talked about their losses.

Really useful to hear the supplements people are taking. I'm taking ubiquinol, vit A, vit E, folic acid (on higher dose as have family history of neural tube defects), vitamin D and omega 3. I had previously been taking impryl before my last pregnancy, but then I read that you shouldn't take it together with ubiquinol, so I stopped it. Have read that all the supplements take about 4 months to have an effect on egg quality so hoping they should start to kick in now!

Wishing all of us really good luck! Thanks to everyone who responded, it's really nice to hear from people in a similar situation. Xx

I had MCs at 35, 36, a live birth at 37, MC at 38 and now expecting (🤞🤞) kid 2 at 39. It can be a hard road but there's definitely still a chance at 39 (and beyond). Just maybe a bit more heartbreak along the way. Only you can decide whether it's worth it for your family.

After the last MC I went straight back to work, but a few months later ended up having to take a week's sick leave because I was struggling with my mood. It's never too late to take the time you need - if you don't want to be honest just tell your work you have a gastro bug; nobody asks questions after that!