When does it get easier?

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I had my second miscarriage in March this year and I’m still struggling.

It was discovered at my 12 week scan that the babies heart had stopped at 9 weeks, no symptoms, no bleeding or pain. Completely unexpected.

I don’t think I dealt with my emotions at the time and sort of carried on with normal life as though the past 12 weeks hadn’t happened to me and now a few months on I find myself thinking about what happened every day, unable to look at pictures or listen to certain songs that remind me of that time.

The thought of getting pregnant again absolutely terrifies me but I so desperately want a baby.

Not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this but it helps to get things off my mind and if anyone has been through similar and can offer some words of advice on how to cope I would appreciate it ❤️‍🩹

I’m so sorry. There is no one answer to this. All grief is different, accept all your feelings. I still think about my loss 17 years later but not in a big tragic way just remembrance and slight what ifs. It will get easier but let your body grieve and recover . Take care of yourself and a big hug

So sorry for your losses OP. My advice would be to talk with someone you feel safe with. I lost my baby at 17 weeks, and I just went back to work (after surgery) carried on completely as if nothing had happened, mentioned it to no -one. One of the worst mistakes of my life. But I did what I thought was best at the time. Keep talking, even if it’s to a therapist, just keep talking. I also bought the most beautiful white rose bush.. it’s pride of place in my garden, 3 years later it still hurts, but I do get comfort from watching the bush grow and flower. Sending you a huge hug x

Thank you both for your kind comments, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone, I know so many women go through stuff like this but when it happens to you it feels like the loneliest place on earth. My husband is so supportive but also struggles to talk about what happened xx

Me and my husband had a miscarriage in April we are trying again but it's not happening im really struggling as I'm starting to think that was my only chance im 39 this year is it too late

I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s such an awful thing to go through and then to try and navigating getting pregnant again must be so difficult. I’m so desperate to have a baby but I don’t think I’m mentally ready yet. Sending you lots of good luck, don’t let your age worry you too much you hear of women having babies into their 40s xx

I’m so sorry. It’s all so unfair. I’ve had a couple of early miscarriages, a late miscarriage and been through a neonatal death. Honestly, it’s only time that helps and that is something that seems to go very slowly when we are struggling. I hope things are little brighter for you soon.

Thank you it's been a tuff year lost my mother in law cat and dog then the baby im just sick of seeing the time off the month feel really low just need someone to talk to thank you for your words x

I'm so sorry for your losses. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks earlier this year and am still really struggling, so unfortunately don't have an answer for when it gets easier. Just be really kind to yourself. Do you have someone you can talk to about it? I think one of the hardest things is how lonely it is.

Hi. I had a miscarriage in October last year at 6 weeks. Then I had another miscarriage at 9 weeks in January of this year. Since then I've not been able to get pregnant at all. I've had blood tests done. I'm still ovulating and my hormone levels are normal. I'm 40 and I 3 grown up children. Thank you.

I had miscarriages at 5, 8, 9 and 11 weeks and a TFMR at 16 weeks before giving birth to our baby boy earlier this year.

I don’t have any words of wisdom other than don’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way.

Things that helped me over time - looking after myself (in terms of trying to eat well, take breaks during the working day if I needed it, getting sleep), I got counselling, running helped me, or just going for walks outside and work was a good distraction for me.

Easier said than done too but try to just focus on the present and take one day at a time rather than thinking through the future and what may or may not happen.

Sorry for not replying feeling really low right now I don't have anyone to talk to I have a habit of just burry my head and it will go away lost all friends because of my past

I'm so sorry to hear this nothing worse when your trying and nothing is working and not sure if it's just me but partner thinks im just overthinking rhings not sure if its the same with you when I had a miscarriage they done scans and said everything is fine but getting low results on my ovulation test hurts i like the fact I came on here and had other people say the same thing

Hey OP, I'm so sorry your feeling this way - I can totally relate. I had a MMC in March 2023 and it was the hardest thing I ever had to face. It completed changed me. My mind was stuck on the events of the day when we found out and I played it over and over and over again in my head. I would cry every day and felt no joy in things I felt before. I found everything to be a reminder.

Quite honestly, I remember it being about 10 months before I started to feel like myself again - I don't want to make you worry but for a long time I felt like I should of been over it, or should of been coping better and those thoughts only kept me struggling.

Take your time, your not overreacting, your doing what you need to do to process this in your own way. You've got this x