When will this horrible sad aching feeling go away?

[RachelG]

I guess I just want a moan. I know I'm not the only one going through this - many of you have had far worse experiences - but I just feel so sad.

I had a missed miscarriage, after IVF. There was no heartbeat on my 7 week scan, and still no heartbeat a week later. I opted for an ERPOC, which was done last Wednesday. I'm still bleeding, so I've started some antibiotics in case there's some infection.

I desperately want to try again asap. I'm 40, so time isn't on my side. And an IVF cycle takes a couple of months anyway, so that delays things too.

I'm very lucky because I have a son, but I desperately want a sibling for him. I feel OK some of the time - when I'm playing with my son, or we're out on day trips. But then this horrible dark empty feeling just hits me at times, and I just want to cry and cry. When will this end? I want to move on, I hate feeling like this.

I also worry because this IVF cycle cost £7000, so I've got to find the money again. I feel like I might as well just have flushed 7 grand down the toilet. I've got nothing to show for it, other than a few short weeks of hope followed by a devastating blow.

Thanks for listening, sorry for the moan.

poor You. I have no advice or experience to offer...just wanted you to know someone had read your post. Hope you can feel more positive soon xx

I'm so very sorry it must be doubly hard after IVF.

I've had three mc, and I can tell you the horrible dark empty feeling does lift, with time and care for yourself. It is alright, and necessary, to grieve. Those early unreal trembling weeks of pregnancy are emotional in any situation, and there is a horrible grim deflatedness, apart from anything else, about mc.

Don't feel you've flushed money down the toilet. Bitter as the outcome is, you have done a wonderful thing - you have invested strength and energy and hope, in your longing. Hold on to that.

Thinking of you. Do take care. Don't force yourself back into normality too quickly. xxx

Dear rachel, i am so sorry for what you have been through, Berolina is right that in time it will lift but dont rush yourself as you need time to recover mentally and physically from this difficult time. Berolina's post is very true and lovely written too. Takecare.
sueXXX.

rachel, im so sorry to hear your experience hope you get better soon and do take a lot of rest..
hugss xx