Miscarriage at 10 weeks

[2026baby]

This is going to be bit of a ramble but I recently had a missed miscarriage during my first pregnancy at 10 weeks. I have never known emotional pain like it, my heart literally broke when the sonorgapher said the words "no heartbeat"

I have a great husband and support system and have found it helpful to talk to people and almost every woman I have told has also experienced baby loss but my question is how do people cope? I took 4 weeks off work (workplace extremely supportive) and have now gone back but still can't find my way back to being productive both at work and at home. It feels like other people bounce back to some kind of normality quicker but right now its hard to see when that will be me.

The medical side has also been drawn out for the last 6 weeks with ongoing issues and I am currently still testing positive which doesn't help my mental state.

Don't know why I'm writing this but guess I am really just looking for people who have experienced similar and can give me any coping tips so I can at least start taking care of myself again.

I am so sorry for your loss xx.

Sounds like maybe you would benefit from therapy to help you process all your emotions and thoughts

I have been in an almost identical situation to you - fetus passed away at 11+2, had ERCP, took 9 weeks to stop testing positive on HCG and to stop feeling pregnant. The honest answer is it takes longer than 4 weeks to heal emotionally and I coasted through life for a while and wallowed at home a lot. I did have therapy but not till the due date time rolled around

I am so sorry you experienced something similar and thank you for sharing your story.

Was anyone able to tell you why you kept testing positive? I have had three scans and there is definitely no RPOC and I am being sent for blood tests every other day as my HCG just isn't dropping. They are now treating me as pregnancy of unknown location

Sorry for your loss OP. It does take a while to process and lots of women feel the same, you just don’t always see that side. When I had my miscarriage I had my toddler dd to look after so had to go back to normality pretty quickly.

Interestingly @2026baby my medics/nurses were not concerned at all. They said just some people's bodies like to hold on to HCG 🤷🏼‍♀️

It is beneficial to continue your normal life routines if you can, even if you feel like shit we know routine, activity, socialising are good for mh more broadly and grief specifically

2026baby So sorry you have joined those if us who have had this experience. Not sure whether this was your first scan during your pregnancy but whether it was or otherwise it always comes as a terrible shock.
For me what helped emotionally to be honest was to remind myself, often, that I wasn't alone. Missed miscarriage not something I had ever heard of until it happened to me and like you, once I was open about it I found many others who have suffered from missed miscarriages too, I dont think there is a set way to get through the experience emotionally but it is a grieving process that you will navigate in your own time and way. I am sending you a virtual hug and just wanted you to feel less alone in your experience x

My loss was 15 years ago and I still think about my baby often 🫶 I'm so sorry for your loss OP. Allow yourself to grieve at your own pace, don't let society make you feel like you're doing something wrong! I read somewhere that when we become pregnant, the baby "imprints" on our brain and actually changes the way we think. And as mams we carry our babys DNA in our bodies forever. That gives me a lot of comfort, your baby is gone but they are still a part of you ❤️
Therapy will help x