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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Wanting pregnancy after surgical abortion.

12 replies

booJo24902 · 29/06/2025 22:22

Hi all ,
we was trying for 3years and we finally got pregnant in feb this year had a miserable pregnancy then found out at 20 weeks he had a serious heart defect that would affect his whole life and wouldn’t be a life really and we would out live him. So we had to let him go , I’m absolutely broken , full of guilt and devastated.
I said to my partner I want to try again I feel completely lost without him and life is short we waited 3years for him & he was taken from us under horrible circumstances.
has anybody gotten pregnant after an abortion? I was 22 weeks pregnant had surgical abortion was told no sex for 2 weeks.
has anybody been in a simulation situation and gotten pregnant again with a healthy baby? Xx
thanks xx
please don’t judge me. You have no idea how sick I feel about letting my son go but i literally had no choice , it was either that or he would be in pain daily and I couldn’t watch him be in pain.

OP posts:
comoatoupeira · 29/06/2025 22:25

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Have you looked at the SANDS website? It sounds like you could (understandably) do with some councilling.
Yes, you can get pregnant at any time. There is no need to wait. Sometimes your cycle is a bit funny after an event and you can get unexpectedly pregnant, like when people come off the pill.

Daffodil1983 · 29/06/2025 22:59

I’m so sorry for your loss. We had a Tfmr two years ago in July. I felt exactly like you and wanted to try straight away. Managed to get pregnant in the November but sadly miscarried. But it’s definitely possible x

Troubleclef · 29/06/2025 23:16

I was told to wait at least two cycles before getting pregnant again to avoid miscarriage.

Original poster
booJo24902 · 29/06/2025 23:37

Troubleclef · 29/06/2025 23:16

I was told to wait at least two cycles before getting pregnant again to avoid miscarriage.

Oh okay! Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
booJo24902 · 29/06/2025 23:37

Daffodil1983 · 29/06/2025 22:59

I’m so sorry for your loss. We had a Tfmr two years ago in July. I felt exactly like you and wanted to try straight away. Managed to get pregnant in the November but sadly miscarried. But it’s definitely possible x

I’m so sorry. Life is just so unfair and cruel xx

OP posts:
Original poster
booJo24902 · 29/06/2025 23:38

comoatoupeira · 29/06/2025 22:25

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Have you looked at the SANDS website? It sounds like you could (understandably) do with some councilling.
Yes, you can get pregnant at any time. There is no need to wait. Sometimes your cycle is a bit funny after an event and you can get unexpectedly pregnant, like when people come off the pill.

I probably do tbf. Thank you! Xx

OP posts:
Daffodil1983 · 29/06/2025 23:47

Really is. Currently going through 4th miscarriage in a row after the TFMR. Doesn’t seem any light at the end of the tunnel sadly 😣

Original poster
booJo24902 · 30/06/2025 00:25

Daffodil1983 · 29/06/2025 23:47

Really is. Currently going through 4th miscarriage in a row after the TFMR. Doesn’t seem any light at the end of the tunnel sadly 😣

Oh love I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I absolutely send all the best and baby wishes! Xxx

OP posts:
BloomingOrchidea · 01/07/2025 15:57

booJo24902 · 29/06/2025 22:22

Hi all ,
we was trying for 3years and we finally got pregnant in feb this year had a miserable pregnancy then found out at 20 weeks he had a serious heart defect that would affect his whole life and wouldn’t be a life really and we would out live him. So we had to let him go , I’m absolutely broken , full of guilt and devastated.
I said to my partner I want to try again I feel completely lost without him and life is short we waited 3years for him & he was taken from us under horrible circumstances.
has anybody gotten pregnant after an abortion? I was 22 weeks pregnant had surgical abortion was told no sex for 2 weeks.
has anybody been in a simulation situation and gotten pregnant again with a healthy baby? Xx
thanks xx
please don’t judge me. You have no idea how sick I feel about letting my son go but i literally had no choice , it was either that or he would be in pain daily and I couldn’t watch him be in pain.

Hey
i am so sorry to hear of your tfmr. No judgement from me, it sounds like it was the right decision and Id do the same thing in your shoes. In fact, I have. We also went through a tfmr just a couple of weeks ago at the same gestation of 22 weeks. In our case it was downs syndrome. I know some people go ahead but T21 is unpredictable and you can't know how severely it will affect the person, both physically and mentally.
I am in a support group called Branch, via whatsapp. Its really supportive with lots of women in similar situations. Also Petals offer counselling if you feel you need some

As for trying again, you can certainly go ahead as soon as you are ready, no need to wait. One of the ladies in the Branch support group I mentioned, never got her period but her BFP came through. So certainly possible.

What we are doing however is waiting 3 months in order to get me back in shape (i need to lose weight) and for all the supplements I got to improve my egg quality. Id very much recommend reading it starts with the egg by rebecca fett and food for fertility by lily nichols.

Good luck, hope all goes well for you and my inbox is always open if youd like a chat

Original poster
booJo24902 · 01/07/2025 18:31

BloomingOrchidea · 01/07/2025 15:57

Hey
i am so sorry to hear of your tfmr. No judgement from me, it sounds like it was the right decision and Id do the same thing in your shoes. In fact, I have. We also went through a tfmr just a couple of weeks ago at the same gestation of 22 weeks. In our case it was downs syndrome. I know some people go ahead but T21 is unpredictable and you can't know how severely it will affect the person, both physically and mentally.
I am in a support group called Branch, via whatsapp. Its really supportive with lots of women in similar situations. Also Petals offer counselling if you feel you need some

As for trying again, you can certainly go ahead as soon as you are ready, no need to wait. One of the ladies in the Branch support group I mentioned, never got her period but her BFP came through. So certainly possible.

What we are doing however is waiting 3 months in order to get me back in shape (i need to lose weight) and for all the supplements I got to improve my egg quality. Id very much recommend reading it starts with the egg by rebecca fett and food for fertility by lily nichols.

Good luck, hope all goes well for you and my inbox is always open if youd like a chat

Show quote history

I’m so sorry. Life is so cruel and just sh*t.
I totally get why you did too I probably would have too.
thank you so much for the info! I hope it happens like that for us but after 3yrs of trying to conceive our boy I doubt it will be that easy for us.
I hope your okay ❤️

OP posts:
Daffodil1983 · 01/07/2025 20:32

So sorry you’ve been through the same. Ours was for the same reason as you and we had to make the right decision for us as a family. I’ve not heard of Branch, where do you find out about that? X

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