2 bad months

[llareggub]

I feel awful. I've had two positive pregnancy tests in as many months and both have resulted in miscarriages.

This month I tested positive on Sunday following a sneaky suspicion that I was pregnant. I spent all week feeling tired, sick etc and have been napping. Had a bleed mid-week that started off brown and turned red after a day. I arranged a scan at a local private clinic and was told that I could not possibly be 6 weeks (from LMP) as there was no evidence of a pregnancy on the scan. I have PCOS and long cycles so it was suggested that possibly I was as early as 4 weeks.

However I did a HPT this evening and it is negative.

Last month was a similar story.

I have an 18 month old son and it took 2 years plus to get pregnant. In that time nothing like this ever happened and I'm starting to feel like I am imagining the positive test and the pregnancy symptoms.

I feel so awful tonight. I have an NCT group from DS full of happy pregnant women on second babies, and two of them are due when I should have been with the first miscarriage.

Just wanted to talk really and wonder if anyone else has any similar experiences. I'm so, so tired.

[llareggub]

anyone?

[SweetieD]

Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. Have had mc last year and have just started ttc again. Am paranoid it won't happen. I have friends who I didn't tell about being pg or the mc, who got pg around the time so it has been heartbreaking at times to be happy for them. I didn't tell them about my mc as I didn't want to spoil their happiness but every baby shower/scan pic etc has been followed by the "it should have been me" feeling so I can sympathise. Going maternity shopping with them was probably the worst. Or possibly the unplanned trip to Mothercare to look at cots as we were driving past (one of the pg friends and I)

You won't have imagined a +ve test, a line is a line is a line as they say on MN!

I'm sure someone else will be along in a minute who can offer more useful support but just wanted to respond so you know you're not alone in this horrible situation.

[mags98]

I had a very similar situation this month. Had a very long cycle (9 weeks) which is odd for me as i don;t have pcos. But had been having very light periods, only spotting if that.

After 9 weeks and a gazillion PTs, I finally had bleeding (well spotting) about 6weeks ago. It did not seem right so tested. negative but just still felt something odd so tested again and got a positive on a weds about 5 weeks ago. Had had bloods done for the hospital clinic so know i could not have ovulated more than 3 weeks before. Only faint test, and stayed that way after a few days it went negative on the mon. No more bleeding. seen at epau, hcg low, but definitely there, then dropped to zero.

Clearly a very early mc, but am still wondering - would not have beleived it i had not had the bloods.

Now the same thing seems to be happening this month - spotting again last few days, not normal period, god knows what is going on.

it is so stressful isn't it?

[llareggub]

Thanks both for your messages. I do find it helps to talk to others.

Mags98, have you given any thought to investigations? I really feel the need to find out what it going on.

[mags98]

Well yes but they don't do any investigations until after 3 miscarriages - this was 'only' my second (had a missed mc in august), so need to wait a bit longer.

I think something is not right, it can't be normal to not even need a panty liner, even after the MCs there was virtually no bleeding, but I guess I just have to wait a bit longer.

I get the feeling this is a problem with implanation not with conception

• clearly eggs and swimmers can meet! - but who knows. Evidence would say it is just bad luck and that next time might be better. But it so does not feel like that.
  
  I guess there is also the issue that a very early MC would in the past have not been recognised, you might have just thought you had an odd period, and we probably know about many more very eary pregnancies than ever before, nature means half of them would not naturally continue and is it a good thinkg to even know about it, it just causes more heartache from early miscarriages. And I am sure that is right, but it is impossible to be logical when you are talking about losing a baby.
  
  I am consoling myself that at least with a positive test things are getting together, it is not perfect but it is better than not having a positive at all.

[llareggub]

I know exactly what you mean. It is hard to be logical.

I haven't had a lot of bleeding, either. Or pain. I still feel very sick and it doesn't help that I look pregnant.

I'm going to go to the GP tomorrow in any case. I had heard about the 3 miscarriages rule and I've no idea if they'll investigate as I have one child already, but I want to get it recorded, so to speak. I don't feel up to going to work next week so I might chat about that, too. I didn't have any time off work last time and regretted it in hindsight.