What to do about time off from work?

[oldmcdonald87]

I got diagnosed this week with pregnancy of unknown location at 6 weeks. I’m still awaiting further tests to confirm whether it’s early miscarriage or ectopic but I’m pretty sure I’m now miscarrying. Further tests required to confirm. I’ve been really upset and scared about the potential of an ectopic pregnancy.

To complicate matters, I’m due to move house next week so I’m also incredibly stressed about that and worried about the practicality of miscarrying whilst moving house. I was originally planning to take annual leave to move house but I’ve been given a 2 week sick note from the hospital, which will cover my house move date but not leave me with much time post-move but I now don’t feel like I can book annual leave to cover settling into the new house, after already being off for 2 weeks. I also won’t be using my 2 week sick leave to process what’s happening, I’ll have to be focused on moving. Would I be unreasonable to ask for a 1 week extension to my sick leave so that I actually have time to recover from this miscarriage post house move? I feel guilty asking and like I “should” be better after 2 weeks as my pregnancy was only 6 weeks. What would you do in my situation?

Why don’t you wait to see how you are feeling after the first week or so, and if you need extra time ask for an extension then?

sorry for your loss. It’s a really difficult question to answer as it’s so personal and everyone’s circumstances are so different, and everyone deals with things in different ways. Just because someone wouldn’t take more time off work, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t or there’s any reason you should feel guilty for asking for more time off.

The hospital told me if you have annual leave booked and then are sick you can claim back your leave. My work were ok with this. So you could have your sick leave then some annual leave. Although also - give yourself permission for longer sick leave if you need xx

I had 6 weeks off for my PUL which turned into a miscarriage. I also moved house in this time. Take as much time as you need, work can wait x

You can’t have extra time because you moved house, that’s not how sick leave works, in fact if you’re well enough to be moving then it could be argued that you should use annual leave. If you want time to settle into your new house you need to book annual leave, if you are unwell still you ask for a sick note but 2 weeks is generous for an early miscarriage in my experience

I am so sorry this is happening op. i honestly think you could book annual leave for after your sick leave unless those weeks are weeks your work place doesn't allow annual leave for some reason? Your sick leave is to cope with the mental and physical effects of the pregnancy and so you shouldn't take more of that to help you move, but to take annual leave to help you move seems fine.

It's not like you can opt not to move as planned because of your miscarriage.

HR Director here.
If your Dr thinks you are unfit for work, you are unfit for work. You are probably unfit to move but have no choice. Recover fully and be kind to yourself. Your employer will prefer you back on four cylinders not two.

Take care.

I know that’s not how sick leave works. But I’m unable to use my sick leave to recover because I have no choice but to move house as it’s months of planning and a chain of people relying on it. I currently feel like I’m unable to process what’s happening and I’m having to place grieving on pause because I don’t have enough capacity to do both. That’s why I was wondering whether it would be reasonable to extend it. I still don’t know yet what I’ll do as I don’t want to take the p* but I am also concerned for my mental well-being in a really stressful time.

use as much sick leave as you need. You aren’t taking the piss and no one surely would believe you are asking for more sick leave to help you move. You can’t help moving and if your grief takes longer because of this, then that’s what sick leave is for, to recover from your grief and the physical recovery