Recurrent Loss and End of Pregnancy for Medical Reasons

[Rachaelredred]

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out in the hope of connecting with other mums who’ve experienced a similar fertility journey and might be able to share their insights or advice.

Between 2018 and 2020, my partner and I had four first-trimester miscarriages. We pursued fertility investigations and were told the only issue was my low AMH. At the time, this was incredibly difficult to hear, but over time I was able to shift focus toward improving egg quality rather than worrying about quantity (my AFC was normal, for context).

In November 2021, we welcomed our beautiful son through natural conception.

We only began trying again recently, once our son turned three. It took some time to conceive again—after a chemical pregnancy in September, we fell pregnant in December 2024. We were expecting our little girl. Tragically, we lost her at 21 weeks due to hypoplastic left heart syndrome, and there may be chromosomal causes involved (we’re currently waiting on genetic testing results).

I’m absolutely heartbroken and, honestly, very afraid of what the future might hold. The only thing helping me cope right now is focusing on moving forward—I’ve started seed cycling again and plan to restart with my personal trainer to get my body feeling strong.
What’s keeping me up at night, though, is the fear that I might be a carrier of something that is affecting my babies’ health.

So I guess I’m here to ask:

Has anyone gone through something similar and gone on to have a healthy baby?Have your genetic tests ever shown you’re a carrier of a condition that impacted your pregnancies?Any advice, insights, or even just some comforting words would mean so much.

Sending love to anyone who has experienced similar losses—you are not alone.

Thank you for reading.

Hello Op,

I’m sorry to read about your journey. I had a similar journey - I had 3 first trimester miscarriages then a TFMR because we found out our baby had T21, then another miscarriage. The tissue was tested for my last miscarriage and the baby had triploidy and triple X syndrome. So I know those last 2 pregnancies had chromosome issues and might assume the earlier ones did too. I have very low AMH (c1 p/mol).

We then had a healthy pregnancy of the baby I am now awake feeding!

My low AMH was always cited as the reason for our issues because when fewer eggs are left they’re typically poorer quality. But we also had slightly low sperm morphology and our healthy son was conceived after my husband had an operation to repair a varicocele which improved his sperm quality.

So all this to say:

• Even if you have low AMH you can still conceive a healthy baby. It may just mean you have a higher chance of it taking longer, or some losses in the meantime;
• It might be worth getting an up to date sperm check. Or, at least, ensure your husband is taking supplements and eating healthily. I’m convinced sperm was the bigger issue for us despite doctors’ focus on my AMH.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Thank you @PenguinyellowIsn’t it strange how doctors give different advice around AMH. Our fetal medicine consultant said there’d be no correlation. I’m hoping he is right. I’m sorry you’ve experienced the heart ache too, but pleased to read you have your long awaited baby now

I had an early miscarriage followed by a 20 week miscarriage in between ds1 and ds2. I think you have to be prepared for it happening again if you do want to take the risk as you don’t have a crystal ball. I got lucky with ds2 but I know it could have gone either way.

@numbbummdid you have any genetic testing done following your 20 week loss? I’m sorry you’ve also experienced this

Hi OP, I’ve just come across your post. How are you doing?

We have parallels in our stories and the reason I came across it is because of my intense searching and googling currently - I guess I’m trying to make sense of what we’ve been through and feel less alone.

We recently went through our 4th loss at 5 months gestation. A little boy. We had to TFMR due to multiple and complex anomalies and don’t yet have any concrete results on causes though our NIPT was clear. Our 3 previous losses were all early missed miscarriages, the first of which was in 2018.

Like you, we also have one child, our daughter, who was born after our first two losses. I am so sad on her behalf too, she knew about him and was so excited to have a brother.

I am fairly deep still in the grief of all of this and how different life was just a month ago. I struggle to get my head around the path we have walked. I don’t know if I have particularly relevant advice, though can share more on the details of our experience over the past years if helpful, and even if we don’t know where we stand right now. We have had recurrent miscarriage testing and secondary infertility testing over the years. I mostly wanted to reach out and say that you aren’t alone and I’m grateful for finding your post.

Hi @brebrev so lovely to hear from you. I’m really sorry that you’ve been through this too. How old is your daughter? My son knew about the pregnancy but is struggling to understand there is no baby there any more; we keep having snippets of him asking.

Have you managed to speak to a bereavement midwife yet? I spoke to mine for the first time, and she has advised the results are back with my consultant. It could be worth you chasing up if it has been more than 3 weeks.

If you want to find me on Facebook (Rachael Elizabeth Red) then I’m an open door, if you’d find it comforting to chat x

Hi @Rachaelredred I’m so very sorry for your loss of your little girl too. I don’t know about you but it still knocks me sideways that this happened, despite it having been our lived reality for the past few weeks.

Our daughter is 5. She does now understand that he is gone, but also talks about how she can have ‘a different brother or sister one day’. I don’t blame her really - we all need some thing to hope for and hold on to! I potentially have some book recommends that might help with conversations. Will pick up with you on FB - speak soon x