Struggling with hearing about other pregnancies

[minidogmum14]

Hi Everyone,

I am new here, Myself and my partner have been together 6 years this November. Back in October 2023 we fell pregnant with our first child. This sadly ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks.

When i miscarriage our little one i was told at the hospital - They didnt know why i was so emotional i was still young so i could try again and it was only a miscarriage- what was there to cry about- This totally shocked me.

I still struggle to this day to accept the miscarriage has happened. Someone within our extend family is currently pregnant , I am really happy for them as this is their rainbow baby, However i cant help but also feel like the green eyed monster which i hate, I just want to know does anyone else feel this way or is it just me ?

I keep comparing myself to them- I should be the one baby shopping- going for scans etc being excited to decorate the nursery, however i have just made a little memory box for out little one which has broke my heart even more.

My partner and family keep telling me oh its your turn next, its happened once , it will happen again and always remember no stress- I am sick of hearing this all the time and i feel so much pressure to get pregnant from them and from myself. That i keep telling myself no wonder its not happening, but i dont know what else to do.

I am looking for any friendly advice on how to deal with these feelings, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ta x

I feel exactly the same. Someone at work is currently pregnant and I honestly can't look at her. All I can think is, I should only be a month behind her. I feel like the only thing that will change the way I'm feeling is another pregnancy.

I also completely get what you mean about lack of compassion and sympathy from the hospital/ healthcare professionals. I think they just see it as another medical procedure rather than the loss of a much wanted child. It's really hard.

@minidogmum14i understand the reactions from the healthcare staff. I had a MC at 11 weeks and was told by the nurse that sometimes your body treats your first pregnancy as a “test run”. Safe to say, that did not comfort me in the slightest.

I also feel jealousy towards other people that a pregnant and I also hate it. I want to be happy for them but there is an underlying jealousy of why can’t that be me and why couldn’t our baby stick.

I’m not sure people really know what to say after an MC. I’ve been asked when we’re trying again (whilst still going though the MC treatment!) and told I should be thankful that I don’t have sleepless nights… I would gladly that those sleepless nights over what a MC brings.

I’d love to give advice, but instead I’d say what you’re feeling is normal... I can only hope that it gets easier over time ♥️

@bk1981 Thank you for your message and reaching out.

I am so glad i am not the only one to feel like this, i was starting to doubt myself if i was over reacting , this has eased my mind that i am not alone x

@lollypops2303 hi thank you for your message and reaching out.

I feel at ease now i know i am not the only one feeling this way as i felt like i was living in the past all the time.

I have been told by family members recently that we will be pregnant with our rainbow baby by the end of the year, my stress levels are through the roof with this.

This is all perfectly normal. Well, it's how I felt!

I had five miscarriages, three of them around the 12-week mark. It was the most horrific time of my life. I could not hear about anyone's pregnancies without feeling physically sick, and with absolutely raging anger.

My sister fell pregnant twice in this time, and my best friend with twins. I couldn't actually physically talk to or look at either of them. And of course they didn't understand.

It's a totally involuntary, visceral reaction to something within our instincts.

You are not alone and any and all feelings you have are completely valid.