Pregnancy after loss

[Lilac27]

Hey, I had a missed miscarriage, we found out at the 12 scan where they had stopped growing around 10 weeks. I had the removal 26th feb 25. We were absolutely heartbroken.

I took the test a week later and it was negative. I then had a gut feeling I was pregnant, so I took a clear blue with the weeks and that showed pregnant 29th March.

i was very happy but also very overwhelmed, we wanted to try again but we were having sex because we wanted to have sex, no pressure.

however im struggling with guilt that I didn’t give myself enough time to grieve. I know it’s not something I’ll ever get over but has anyone experienced this and does the guilt subside? I don’t want to feel like the angel baby didn’t mean anything, they meant everything to me. Just at a bit of a loss.

I also wanted to know if anyone else fell pregnant around 2 weeks after a miscarriage and how do you work out how far along you are? Is it worth contacting EPU for some guidance etc?

thanks!

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. I carried on trying 2 weeks after 2 of my losses. I was desperate to get pregnant again and it felt right for us. Everyone is different. Congratulations on your recent pregnancy. It can be super tough emotionally pregnancy after loss. Be kind to yourself.
Also practically, if anything of concern - you might be eligible for progesterone treatment in UK if any bleeding in this pregnancy (I took progesterone throughout 2 year olds and 6 month olds pregnancies after losses)

Sorry to hear about your loss. We also had a missed miscarriage, finding out at 12 weeks. Everyone is different and will deal with things in their own way. If you are happy that you conceived again so soon that’s really great, try and focus on this emotion. From experience we kept very busy (we didn’t have much choice with busy jobs and DD1) and we then conceived around 4 months later.

There is no right way to grieve. You do what you need to do.

You can still take time in this pregnancy to sit with the grief you felt when your previous pregnancy ended in miscarriage.

Equally, not everyone thinks of a miscarriage as an "angel baby", it's not obligatory or expected to give as much weight to a pregnancy than didn't produce a baby as to the baby that actually is.

I got pregnant straight after my mc (which ended in another mc) and just worked my dates from the mc bleed.
The 12 week dating scan is for exactly this reason - but obviously they have to use a lmp for knowing when 12 weeks roughly is.

As for feeling guilty about grieving and time for grieving. Everybody handles it differently.
Just because you are pregnant now doesn't negate the love you had and the want you had for your prior baby. You can love them both and feel sad for your loss while feeling joy for your current baby.
It does get easier with time, but from experience, you do think about the what ifs from time to time and more so when you are going through another mc or another pregnancy.
Good luck to you op