The only bit of real emotional check ins and support have been through a group of women I've never met online. Forever grateful. Heres my rant to help when im struggling, feel free to add yours:
Nearly 5 months being pregnant and no baby, or 2, what that does to your mind and body is hard and cruel. 5 months!!!!
Being told not to move as I could die at any moment really plays with your mind. So does working to support yourself while youre nowhere near recovered.
That resulted in bleeding twice on office chairs so bad that three lots of clothes werent enough. No dignity with it and feeling at the edge of passing out. At 3 months crying driving because of the embarrassment from milk leaks like wtf.
Crying silently 45 times. Suicidal a couple thanks to hormones.
Flashbacks to sights no one ever wants to see/experience, which has now landed me with freeze anxiety and anxiety going out facing people.
No confidence in my body or any medical professional. Chemotherapy means thin hair and upheaval of all your physical body being stripped of anything.
Thoughtless people updating me on random peoples baby scans. Why. (Apparantly common)
But, since the physicals over you're supposed to just get on with it. Your fine right? Its no big deal.