Coping with announcement after loss

[Cjxxxx]

I've suffered 4 MC the most recent would have been due this month and yesterday my sister text me while I was at work to tell me she's expecting her first baby while I'm happy for her I just feel like the announcement was dropped on me at the worst time I had to tell my boss I was ill and go home and cry she reached out this morning and I set a boundary that whilst I'm really happy and excited for her I just needed space to deal with the news I feel awful and she's openly told me that she knew I'd make it about me I just don't know how to navigate this

I was in your situation, when close friends of ours announced their first pregnancy after our MC and it was the same gestation as ours. I feel pregnant again soon afterwards and had a late second trimester MC a few days before their baby was born.
we were incredibly jealous, disappointed, sad, upset, lots of emotions going on. When we didn’t really make loads of noise about their birth they didn’t really understand (we didn’t tell them what had happened to us).
we grieved the way we wanted to and that meant avoiding them as it hurt too much. Later down the line they questioned why we acted the way we did, they were sad for us and tried to understand where we came from. They didn’t really get it still.

In guess what I am saying is you need to do what is right for you. You will onky feel terrible bottling things up if you go to baby showers etc, avoid her if you need to if that helps you grieve. Your sister won’t understand at the moment and probably won’t be the good support you need right now. You are both indifferent journeys right now and you are hurting.
That’s how I dealt with it and it helped. Skipping forward I now have 3 little boys and still wouldn’t change how I reacted or didn’t.

I think all you can do is separate the two things out as best you can.

The most common advice for pregnant people who need to tell someone in your situation is to do it by text, giving them time/space to respond rather than announcing in person. On that basis she hasn’t done anything wrong, she’s done what she would have been told to do if she’d posted on here asking for advice.

I think you will obviously need time to navigate your feelings and take each day as it comes.
obviously you may not be able to avoid your sister but if things are becoming too much you can always message her to say you need a little space for a bit, this could be for a day/ week whatever. I did this to a few pregnant friends at the time and they really respected my feelings. Some didn’t of course but that will always be the case unfortunately. Best wishes

Thank you I much preferred to get the information via text I just felt a bit railroaded with the timing it was in the middle of my working day and I was just bombarded with baby info following leading me to say I needed some space
I just don't want to be seen as the burden If I need to avoid events for me I'd rather not show up to a shower for example than go and try not to show my grief