No heartbeat at 12 weeks

[September25Baby]

Hi - I’m scared and don’t know who else to ask! I’m hoping someone will be able to provide some insight.

We had our 12 week scan yesterday which showed baby had no heartbeat. We were completely shocked and blindsided, I’d been having some spotting but I know that can be common, and I was told not to worry. They say baby stopped growing just shy of 10 weeks. We had an early scan at 7.5 weeks as I miscarried my previous pregnancy at 6 weeks, and that scan showed baby had a strong heartbeat and was developing well. We’re just absolutely heartbroken, we don’t have any children yet, this was only my second pregnancy, and it took us 16 months after my previous miscarriage to fall again.

I’ve opted for natural management and although I experienced a loss at 6 weeks before I wondered if anyone had any experiences of losing a pregnancy at 10 weeks because I’m terrified of what it’s going to be like - plus the waiting around is awful. But I do want to avoid surgical management and would prefer not to take a pill and actively end the pregnancy - even though I know logically it’s already over.

Anyone’s experience of this sort of thing would be so helpful, I’m frightened and feel like I need to know what to expect in the coming days / weeks when I begin to miscarry - the midwives were quite vague.

Thank you in advance to anyone who can help x

I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. It is actually 21 years ago today that I lost my baby and it was the worst day of my life, so I feel your pain. I lost our baby at 12 weeks. I had some spotting and then went for a scan. Was totally blindsided when they told me he/she was gone. They didn't intervene, just sent me home where I miscarried naturally.

I won't lie to you - it was painful. I suffered severe cramps and heavy bleeding. But I didn't see anything horrible, just like a very, very heavy period. I can't speak for everyone, but that was my experience.

I now have two wonderful teenager, and I pray that you will feel that joy in the coming years. My heart breaks for you, but I do believe things happen for a reason, and there may be a medical issue as to why you have miscarried twice. Mine was blood clotting, and with my next two pregnancies I had to inject myself with blood thinners throughout, both for my own and my baby's sake.

Take care sweetheart!!

I just want to say how very sorry I am at this awful news. Sending you a handhold

@CeeCee45 I’m so sorry to hear about your experience too - it really is so horrendous and I’m sorry if this post brought back any painful memories for you. Thank you so much for that information - I think it was seeing something that I was most afraid of. I’m expecting it to be absolutely awful and very painful, midwives have said I can be admitted to hospital if I can’t manage the pain at home but I’d like to avoid that. Luckily I have supportive parents who live close by and my husband has been my rock, so I do feel very fortunate.

The midwives did mention because I have miscarried concurrently they may be able to offer me a medication to help the pregnancy in the early stages if we’re lucky enough to fall pregnant again, so I wonder if, like you say, it’s something similar to what you were offered.

I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to reply to my post, thank you both so much for your kind thoughts, words and support @Munnygirl

You will manage it and you will get through it. I'm glad you've got a good support network-I was lucky enough to have that too.

If you want to ask anything else don't hesitate to ask, or drop me a private message if you have anything specific you want to know 💛

I'm so sorry for your loss💐I had three miscarriages. The last one was around 9wks and it was quite painful, but I managed it at home with painkillers. I think the cramps lasted one night.

I was referred to a recurrent mc clinic and started progesterone and then aspirin for my next pregnancy. He is 3 now.

I rarely think about my miscarriages these days, but I remember how devastating they were at the time. You'll get through this.

@marplemead Thank you so much for replying - it’s very reassuring to know people went on to have babies after devastating losses ❤️

I’m so sorry - I am in a similar position.

I am also leaning towards medical management but feeling nervous! I’m 10 weeks although the baby didn’t progress past about 5 weeks. No sign of my body doing it naturally.

I wish you the best of luck - let us know how you get on.

I'm so sorry it's a horrible thing to go though

I had two mc then a daughter and then another two mc and a 2nd daughter.

Be kind to yourself now.

Same happened to me. 13 WK scan, no heart beat. Went home. Devastated.
I had really bad cramping a day later and then passed the fetus - it was intact, not much blood.
Later found out I had a fibroid in my womb which probably didn't help. Had it removed and went on to have DC 2 yrs later.
So sorry you are going through this. It's absolutely one of the worst things ever.

I'm so so sorry this has happened to you. I had the same, twice in a row. Spotting and a scan showing a heartbeat at about 8 weeks with the first, then more spotting and no heartbeat at the 12 week scan, which showed that development had stopped around 9-10 weeks. The second time I had no signs other than pregnancy nausea disappearing around 10 weeks but the 12 week scan showed exactly the same. I can't help with the miscarriage experience as I had an erpc each time, but I can say that I went on to have two uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy children afterwards, with no intervention. Sometimes we're just bloody unlucky. Sending you all the love and luck in the worldm

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry. It's awful and cruel and nobody can say anything to make it better. I was exactly the same as you - missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. It's horrendous.

Look after yourself. You have the right to change your mind re decisions about how to manage the miscarriage whenever you want, so don't feel you are stuck with one decision.

Happy to chat privately if you would like - I know I took comfort in others support and stories x

Just to recommend

The Worst Girl Gang Ever

They are all over social media and have some wonderful forums full of amazing ladies telling and sharing stories. It really helped me at my lowest. I'm sure MN is full of the same, but just in case you were interested in a different platform! X

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond - I so appreciate your support and you sharing your stories, and I’m so sorry for all of your losses. I’m still waiting for the miscarriage to happen, I’m still lightly bleeding/spotting but no different to how I was last week.

I just keep thinking if I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have any idea anything was wrong. It’s so hard when the brain knows the pregnancy is over but the body doesn’t and is still giving me symptoms. I guess it’s just a waiting game x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve no practical advice as both my miscarriages were earlier (as was my ectopic), but I did want to recommend the miscarriage association. They also do group sessions (not for everyone), but I found it very helpful while processing my losses. Also, getting a referral to Tommys or your nearest recurrent miscarriage centre for when you’re ready to try again. We went on to have a lovely, gorgeous little boy after three losses. I hope a rainbow comes soon for you too.

Sending hugs, I hope this won’t be too graphic for you but I also had a missed miscarriage( stopped growing at around 9 wks) and likewise wasnt sure what to expect, found out on USS at 10 wks due to spotting, then given a “double check “ scan at 11 wks, I also opted for natural route and I finally miscarried at 13 wks. For me it wasn’t particularly painful at all (as it is the size at which it stops growing) and I passed a very small, solid embryo into the toilet. This sounds morbid but I did regret not actually looking at it later even though I knew it wasn’t yet classed as a foetus. It wasn’t unusually painful ,not dissimilar to my heavy period pains . I luckily had had a successful pregnancy before this one and also another after , so looking back the big difference this time was my morning sickness stopped very early…the other times I was sick til 5 mths. I also felt and looked pregnant after the miscarriage which was probably the hardest as had relatives asking if I was pregnant …. give yourself and your husband lots of time to be kind to yourselves as it was a real hormonal rollercoaster.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I found out about my mmc at the 12 weeks scan for my first pregnancy. It was such a shock and hard to comprehend as I had a lot of sickness. I opted for the surgical option and with hindsight I am pleased because it turned out to be a molar pregnancy so would likely have needed it anyway. My second mc was much earlier so I just let nature take its course. I hope you have some kind and supportive people looking after you in real life op.

I was in exactly your situation.

After the scan it took about 3 days or so for the miscarriage to start properly. It was incredibly painful for me, proper contractions. I had a hot water bottle and also lay in the bath. It took maybe 3 hours start to finish and there was a lot of blood at the end.

At the time I really wished the midwife had told me how bad it coukd be before I decided to do it naturally. I'm guessing that it's different for everyone though.

I didn't have to take any time off work though, as once it was over it was done.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Wishing you well for the future. I tried to remember that so many women miscarry and go on to have healthy babies in the future.

I am in a very similar situation to you right now. We had the 12 week scan on Friday and found we have had a missed miscarriage and the baby stopped growing at around 7 weeks.

I had a small amount of spotting but my sickness and hormones had still be fierce. Sending you all my love and all those you have been through this before at this time. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow and still struggling to get my head around it all.

I had the same experience 15 years ago on Tuesday (25th February). The baby would have been my third child & there was no indication at all things were not going well until my 12 week scan.

I eventually miscarried my baby in a McDonalds loo two weeks later. I’d taken my DCs out for the day.

If it helps at all, my lovely DD was born the following year. 18 months after my loss.