Had a miscarriage yesterday, was this a normal experience?

[Secretguineapig]

This was my first pregnancy so I have no idea what it can be like.

I had discharge for over a week which led to me having an early scan at 11 weeks. Cramping and significantly worsening discharge with a realisation I'd lost all my symptoms on the day before the scan meant I knew what was coming. I was still hoping they'd tell me something better obviously but I knew it was coming. The baby stopped growing in its seventh week and it's just taken till now for my body to start miscarrying.

So yesterday (day after the scan) I had the full on miscarriage. It came on suddenly, literally without warning. And then I had cramping in waves for about 5.5 hours, it got very intense after the first 2 hours and I started getting really faint and my partner was invaluable for those next 3.5 hours to keep my in a supply of hot water bottles, fed me water to keep my blood pressure up (I couldn't sit up to drink they had a bottle and a straw to help me drink), much emotional support. So much blood. And with not being able to go to the toilet for a bit because I was too faint it was quite a mess at one point they had to help me with.

Then it calmed down and I had 4 more hours of bleeding (heavy at times but not so constant as earlier) but significantly less pain until I was then very comfortable, had something to eat and went to sleep.

I just want to know if this is what other people experience? I don't handle menstrual pain that well when it's very intense (fortunately I don't have v bad periods, not since I was a teenager) and that's partly why I got faint (and I guess I was getting v dehydrated). I just want to know if other people have it that bad?

People don't talk about miscarriages much. Obviosuly I always knew it was very emotionally upsetting for women and their partners, but I've only know appreciated the physical experience can be very intense even in early pregnancy loss (seemed obvious to me that later pregnancy loss would be worse but I never knew about early miscarriage).

Now the physical side is done I am left feeling the emotional side which I can only say is utter shit and my heart goes out ot everyone in the same position.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had two mc and both were as you described. I think my cramps (like labour/extremely bad periods) started about 11am with 4pm-7pm being the worst where I was barely concious. As soon as I passed the baby there was instant relief. The first mc I did have a little retained products and continued to pass smaller (but still larger) clots for a day but it was much more manageable and I was able to sleep and eat

Thanks for sharing. It's good to know that others have had the same experience. I'm sorry you've had to go through that twice as well, I can only imagine how hard it is to go through that again.

There was one point I got so hot from going faint that I couldn't do anything for myself and my partner had to pretty much strip me off to cool me down. Just crazy, a really hard day for him as well.

Sorry you’ve been through a MC, they are so difficult physically and emotionally!
Ive had 3, the most recent on Monday just gone and they have all been totally different. My second was agony, I could barely stand up and I bled like crazy with the most painful contractions. The one just gone was a breeze in comparison. I had contractions but nothing like my previous one and the bleeding wasn’t anywhere near as bad. I was terrified of this last one due to my previous experience but if this is it then I’m ok. Not sure if the fact my second was only 4ish months ago makes a difference?
so yes, I think your experience is probably normal as they can vary l, however I am very sorry it was such a traumatic experience for you! I think the main thing is to make sure there’s no retained tissue, so keep an eye on pain, smell, bleeding, hcg levels etc.
Make sure you look after yourself, your partner too - it isn’t easy for either party.
The emotional side is shit, but it does get slightly easier with time. Wishing you all the best!

Thank you. I'm so sorry to hear you've been through all that, and again so recently. Fortunately, I have a scan on Monday booked to assess if there is any retained material, I feel well and everything appears OK at the moment. I feel like there can't possibly be anything retained after all that! But I hope that is shown to be the case and then we can move on. I'll start doing some pregnancy tests after that to see where my hcg is at. I'm desperate to start trying again when my cycles return, I'm frustrated to think it will be a little while to wait. I am not getting younger and it took us so long to make this one. But I also don't want to forget our special little one that made us so happy for a brief time. Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all as they say.

I will say for the benefit of anyone reading this at a later date who might be anticipating a natural miscarriage that while I was v tired the day after the miscarriage I was already forgetting the physical pain. Your body is not designed to remember that stuff and I already feel mentally recovered from the physical aspect of the miscarriage. Not that I'd want to do that again but I could if I had to and I'd choose it above the other options available I think. It's easy to say since I realised I'd lost the baby only one/two days before I miscarried so it wasn't a long wait. I don't know what I'd have done if I'd known we lost them three/four weeks earlier, it would be an unpleasant wait. I've decided I wouldn't benefit emotionally from doing early private scans in future pregnancies for this reason, though that's easy to say right now.

Same as you, stopped growing. Found out at 13 week scan. A missed miscarriage they called it. That same night I had awful cramps and quite quickly passed the fetus.(sp?)
You are right, the pain was quickly forgotten but the emotional trauma was awful. To me it was my baby, I'd made plans and mapped out a future in my head.
I remember ringing the hospital to tell them, as I'd been booked in for a D&C, and the nurse said 'well done'.
I think you're the first person I've shared my story with (apart from DP).
Sending ((hugs))) x

Awww :( I'm so sorry. It's such a sad time. I don't think it's going to hit me that we don't have our baby until I go back to work and back to normality. I'll realise the that we've gone back to "normal life" as it was before.

I think it's really important to talk to people about it if you can. My other half told me well done as well, it's meant a lot to me. It's not something you or I or anyone else wanted to do, but we had to do it and we made it.

I had a miscarriage on 6th December. I started spotting on 4th December, only when i wiped and it was more pink (I wasn't worried because I spotted and bled on my other 3 pregnancies, I have 3 boys). On 5th December, the spotting got worse it was now bright red and a bit more frequent so I had a gut feeling. Then along came the back ache and stomach cramps. I thought possibly a urine infection as I normally get them especially in pregnancy but my gut was telling me it's not as the lower back ache and stomach cramps were really low down. I then started to bleed. On 6th December it all kicked off. I passed a small clot and then a palm sized clot. I knew there and then it was definitely happening. I was still bleeding pretty much pouring out of me. I went through 2 pairs of joggers. A few hours went by and at about 6ish the intense pains came and it was getting worse. They lasted 5 hours roughly and I spent most of that time in the bath as I didn't have any pain killers or a water bottle at home. I was so unprepared for this. (I don't stock painkillers as i hate them and my partner has a bad history with them). I passed more small and big clots, pregnancy tissue, gushes of water and blood. It was constant for these hours. I was emptying the bath and refilling as I was scared my children would walk in on me (as kids do) and see the bath red. The blood was just pouring down my legs. It's was horrible. I was mortified, in shock and 100% traumatised. Still am now. I really didn't expect to miscarry my 4th pregnancy after having 3 children. It wiped me out. I was exhausted and fell asleep. Now I'm over the physical side (i stopped bleeding on Boxing Day) I'm having to deal with the emotional side. Night time is the hardest. I have to be exhausted or I won't sleep, I'll just be staring at the ceiling in bed.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending so much strength and love at this hard time 😘❤️

@Motherofthreewildboys how far into your pregnancy were you?

I'm not sure as I never got to my 1st scan and I didn't know when my last period was but I guessed I was roughly around 9/10 possibly 11 weeks.