Do you ever feel that pregnancy excitement again after miscarriage?

[NeatOtter]

3 months ago I had a missed miscarriage (blighted ovum) noted at 10 weeks. It was my first pregnancy and looking back I am still traumatised by the shock. I was naive before and it didn't even cross my mind that I would be 1 in 4. I only felt excitement and contentment.
On Christmas eve I had a CP at 5w5d. Ever since seeing the positive test the stress and impending doom feeling were so present. I don't know how I could have lasted 9 months in that mindframe. Again I feel traumatised by the shock.
I've lost hope and feel exhausted emotionally. I can't piece together why things happened as they did.
I am posting because I now associate pregnancy with sadness. Has anyone had several miscarriages and navigated similar?

Miscarriage is miserable. So sorry you had to go through it. It's not talked about much, so we don't realise just how common it is. You are not alone. You are not unusual. How you feel is natural.

Yes, the shadow can hang over you. For me, I always felt better after I passed the point at which I had miscarried. The further along I got, the better I felt. Yes, the joy of pregnancy does return.

Similar to PP. I was able to relax somewhat a few weeks after the latest of my losses. Meant the very early weeks I felt incredibly ill and miserable, but without the reassurance that I’ll have a baby after it all passed. Fortunately I never felt any of my losses move, so that provided reassurance once I got that far along.

Sorry to hear that. After 2 times i was worried with my 3rd pregnancy but kept thinking Third times the charm! And it was. Stay optimistic.

@NeatOtter So sorry you have had this next horrible experience, it is truly horrible. Yep, I had an MMC and felt pretty positive for the next pregnancy as i had read about so many having success next time but i have sadly been one of the unlucky ones with two more early losses since then. So I find pregnancy fills me with fear rather than hope and happiness, sadly. i now have a potential issue diagnosed and medication to take next time but that makes matters worse to be honest. I am just terrified that tge treatment wont work. Will just have to wait and see.

I have had 3 miscarriages. I found the start of pregnancy awful and full of anxiety, but there suddenly is a point when you feel them moving all the time and you think this is actually going to happen for me. From then it gets more and more exciting. You will feel excited even if you are also scared and once they are here it will be so very special. I wish you lots of good news very soon

To be honest, OP, for me it never did. I was anxious at every scan, anxious constantly about movements, and eventually asked to be induced on mental health grounds, because I was so ragged from being worried about everything for nine months. There were wonderful moments in there, and I do regret how much previous loss ruined the experience of pregnancy for me. But it was a double whammy of fearing things going wrong and losing this so wanted baby; and an absolute horror of the idea of having to go back to ground zero and go through the uncertainty (and nausea) of the first trimester again.

Remember you can self-refer to talking therapies and you’ll get seen as a priority if you’re pregnant so there is help available if you end up feeling like this.