Struggling with miscarriage

[Winnie1311]

I found out on xmas eve that i was miscarrying. It was my first pregnancy and i'm so devestated. Was told that not all the tissue has passed so i've got to go back and be scanned a week later to see what's happening. I've stopped bleeding and im so worried i will need intervention to ensure all tissue is passed. I just want to all be over now.
I'm also feeling so resentful towards my partner. He doesn't seem to be as affected by it half as much as me. He seems to just be going back to his normal day to day while i'm heartbroken. I hate that i'm feeling this was towards him but its like he doesnt even see i'm struggling or care.

So sorry op .
I felt the same about DH with my MC’s, there is support available here if your DH isn’t being as supportive as you need. I hope you have friends or other family members that are able to offer you support through this irl, you may need to tell DH what you are feeling about his response. Take care of yourself

www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/miscarriage-support

I felt exactly the same.
I think it's important to understand their experience is very different. Particularly in first trimester loss.
Firstly, when you're pregnant you are constantly thinking of your pregnancy. Dads don't have that constant thought process in the early days. When you miscarry I read everything goes silent and I think that is accurate - it was for me the greatest feeling initially. Silence and sheer disappointment. My husband was disappointed but not in the same unique way.
Secondly there is the physical aspect.

I had to have a D&C after miscarriage of my first pregnancy and when my husband dropped me off at the hospital (men couldn't go on ward) I broke down. I said you are just going to go to work and have a normal day and this is the biggest day of mine.

I don't think they have to feel the same way - and I don't think many do as it is different experiences. But I think they need to accept how you are feeling. Try to set resentment aside and put your energy into making him understand how lonely and disappointed you feel. Advocate for yourself and emotions where you can. Hopefully he can then step up.

Going through a second loss myself. Sending lots of sympathy your way xx

I felt like this at the beginning still do sometimes. Then one we before Christmas I caused an arguement and the feelings on both sides came out. It helped but I struggled to talk at the time. Now I just talk without any issues and he replies. Good communication if possible has really helped with my feelings and emotions. Sending my love ❤️