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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Struggling with friendship and triggers

3 replies

roseandstay · 08/12/2024 21:24

I have recently had a devastating miscarriage. It was traumatising and I have really struggled with the loss. I am now easily triggered and upset by so many things but pregnancy and seeing other people and their growing bumps is obviously one at the moment. I feel like a bad friend because I cannot be around my pregnant friend at the moment, her bump is visible and getting bigger and although I’m happy for her, I’m sad for myself. I am struggling when I see things online that she or other people has posted. I feel guilty for even typing these things out and feeling this way. I am trying to not put myself in a position where I will be around her because it triggers me and sends my recovery and mental health backwards. I am avoiding social situations with her because i don’t want the awkwardness and she deserves to celebrate her pregnancy but I now I don’t know how to navigate her baby shower and the Christmas season. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
bebopalula111 · 08/12/2024 21:30

I'm sorry for your loss.

You have to look after yourself, never mind other people especially those yelp may be pregnant.

You're not wrong to want to avoid social situations, I can imagine your friend will be feeling just as awkward.

Time is a healer, it's still too fresh. Whilst you'll never get over your miscarriage there will be a day when you can cope in these situations.

Ensure you speak about your baby, they mattered, you were still a mum.

Lots of love ❤️

Objectiontime · 08/12/2024 21:50

Yep, you are absolutely having the same feelings I have andcyounarecreacting in the same way. You should concentrate on your own physical and mental wellbeing at the moment so if she is a good friend she will understand that. Dont negotiate the baby shower. Either say straight out that you wont because to attend because you are not emotionally strong enough or feign sickness when it comes to the date. For the sake of your mental health do what is right for you and dont force yourself to do otherwise.
So sorry for your loss too. I have had a shock MMC and two early losses and I am so with you on your thoughts and feelings on this, as I know many others on this board will be. Sending hugs.

Objectiontime · 08/12/2024 21:51

Sorry, meant you are acting in the same way x

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