I am so fucking fed up and Angry

[Julezboo]

Its gone on too fucking long now. I got my positive test at the end of jan, 3 weeks later was told preg was failing. Had D&C mar 31st, second one week later and I am still bleeding. It was brown but I just had a big gush and that was red. I am due back there tomorrow. My HCG level was 6 at last check. Ive just had enough. I would be 19 weeks this week. I want it over with I want to move on. I want the stupid fucking hospital to get off their asses and get me my MRI scan to see what the stupid tumour is in my uterus. I Want answers, its gone on too stupid long.

I wanna take my boys swimming again, I wanna greive and move on but I cant whilst its all hanging over me like this. I am sick of ringing the hospital everyday and being fobbed off and told to ring back tomorrow. I am sick of driving 40 mins each way to the hospital and sturggling to park in their stupid carparks to be told the same thing over and over. I am sick of seeing the place. I want to be at home enjoying my boys. I want to go out with friends. I WANT TO MOVE ON

Sorry for the language

Oh Julez, I'm so sorry. The waiting and not knowing and not being able to move on is vile. And not getting proper care is so rubbish. I do hope that things pick up for you soon...

What a nightmare. Can you force them into acting by making a complaint or something - it's unacceptable to expect you to hang around waiting in the circumstances. Can't they refer you to another hospital if they can't help you this week? I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Go see their PALS officer and just explain how unhappy you are and that you want to complain. They do tend to move quickly once chivvied by the threat of an investigation.

I hope this is all over for you really soon so you can start recovering.

Julez - for what it's worth, I had ERPC after partial molar (only diagnosed afterwards, actually) on 3rd April, and have had big red bleeds this weekend - hosp (who have been very good) aren't worried - molar pregnancy forum suggests it's quite common. No idea if this is reassuring or not, but thought I'd let you know.

habbibu - my histology reports came back after my D&C and there was no sign of molar, HCG level dropped quite quickly after second D&C. They really dont have any clue whats going on but they arent hurrying their arses up to find out either. I am terrified its cancerous and everyday its in there its growing and spreading. I am only 26, far to young imo to be dealing with all this shit.

(dont normally swear so much sorry!)

Oh dear, this brings back memories. Last March I lost a baby and bled and lost (large) clots for MONTHS and in fact was still getting a positive pregnancy test in June! The nurse at the hospital actually sneered at me when I begged for a D&C and said "we dont perform surgery for clots that small".

I went down to 8 and a half stone I was so rundown by it all.

I second the advice about PALS - should get them moving.

becaroo - i have lost weight i think, all my firends are commenting on it. I have a gob full of ulcers, just broke out in a cold sore today, Im not sleeping, Im not eating, I snapping at everyone. Im avoiding my phone right now because my lovely dad will be ringing to see if i have an appt for mri and when i tell him I havnt he will go mad, not at me but hes the kind of person to rant... I dont need to hear it now, likely to birst into tears.

Oh, sorry, Julez - read a bit of the other thread but didn't see the further info. Sorry if I seemed insensitive. You poor love. Is this the only hospital you can get to? - I suspect so, if it's 40 mins drive. Yes, do try PALS, and get your GP to chivvy them as well, if you can. God, this is crap - you shouldn't have to go through this at all.

there is a nearer hospital but I had a crap experience with them and they almost killed my friend by giving her strep A in birth!! Have heard lots of horro stories and wouldnt trust them.

I go to cardiff heath university hospital, its a pretty big place, next one is bristol, 2 hours away

What's your GP like? Any good?

fairly good, may go see her tomorrow, or make an appt if I can... I cant really deal with this much longer I dont know how to

Yes, go and see her - cry all over her if needs be. With any luck she can put some more pressure on the hospital - you need an advocate because you shouldn't have to do all the running round and phoning etc when you are just too tired and stressed and scared.

I do think, and please do forgive me if this sounds trite, that you need to do little tiny things to make yourself feel better and lower your stress levels a bit - maybe just a nice film and a box of chocolates, or a nice bottle of wine, or a walk on the beach - just to make the days a little brighter. Sounds stupid, I know, but sometimes these little things help you cope for just that bit longer.

Thanks hab

I went out with my girlies on Friday night, got drunk, danced all night and I felt human again. It was good to just be me... I refused tor ing the hospital fri afternoon, didnt want it to ruin my mood.

Just feel like my whole life is living around the hospital at the moment

fuck julez, im so sorry. you deserve better than this. you deserve closure and while they are still messing around you cant get it. agree, contact PALs and your GP, stress that you are worried about your mental and general health now, wish i could say more...x

Oh, I know how that feels - think they should have a room with our name on in ours. But ours is good, and so should yours be - I'm a total fan of the NHS but sometimes they just don't get things right.

Good for you for taking Friday off - a wise move. Keep dancing!

Thanks lissie, How are you doing?

Hab - I had DS2 with them and they was fab! And to be fair the EPU has been great with me, the poor midwife whos been looking after me was just as heartbroken when we was told the horrible news its since Ive been transferred over to gynea

Oh, I see. Wish I could help - sending lots of sympathy!

not too bad thanks, starting heparin the next time.

wish i could help you.

yay for heparin gets easier after the first few jabs I promise...

Im gonna go tomorrow see my consultant and see if she can get things moving, if not will go to PALS whilst Im there.

please do, they need to do something now!

next to get up the duff first though still if im not knocked up in 3m then its the way of the clomid - heparin - progesterone. its all a bit daunting!

no experience with clomid or progesterone but the heparin does get easier after the first few and thats coming from a needle phobic! Bruises get horrific though. Everytime i went into hospital for one reason or anohter, or each midwife appt they asked me in a round about way each time was everything ok at home Like DP would be able to beat me up and live to see the next day !!

Dont be too hard on yourself Julz...you need to grieve and at the moment you cant because of the awful "care" you are (not) getting.

I ended up catching whooping cough last year. It was awful. I looked like a walking corpse.

Really feel for you...hope they get off their useless backsides soon x

Hi Julez, sorry I haven't seen your other thread and infact, haven't been here at all for a while. I completely understand and sympathise with swearing etc. It really is time to get your GP on side. Go in and kick up a stink in there. Sometimes letting your GP know how bad things are is a bit like getting your local MP onside to help fight your cause. Failing that, go into A&E, admittedly 40 mins away so not great, and shout and swear there, they'll soon see to you. I spent six hours in A&E once, having a heavy miscarriage while I waited to see someone. How did I get seen - my husband came in at the end of the day and went ballistic. Only wish he'd been there six hours earlier. How are things now? I hope it's all eased off a bit. It sounds like a slapdash D&C to me and I'm sure it will be fine, but you need to know that. Get thee to the GP! and good luck x