*tw* Please help - miscarriage and chemical 2 months later

[Flowerandtrain]

Please can anyone give me any advice or positive stories please. I lost my baby at 12+2 a couple of months ago in a mmc. It was horrific. I had to go to hospital, I was losing consciousness at home and they couldn't get an ambulance out quick enough. My husband had to carry me to the car and into a and e where I lost consciousness in the waiting room waiting to be seen. It was very scary. The whole thing was so graphic. I passed the majority of the baby at home and some tissue got stuck.

I got pregnant again and was terrified but really happy and I've just started bleeding at about 14dpo. I genuinely feel like I can't go on. I'm sorry if this sounds dramatic but I don't know how to get up and carry on tomorrow and keep going and take care of my toddler. Does this mean there is something wrong with me? Do I need tests? Does anyone know what tests I might need and where I should start? I don't know how to cope with this and how to get through it. Please any words of advice or reassurance would be so appreciated. I'm so scared. I don't even have any pads in the house ready.

I realise I'm very lucky to already have one baby. I'm so so sorry if this post is insensitive or upsets/offends anyone.

I am so sorry for your losses. I completely understand how you feel. My back story is I had two normal pregnancies. Decided to have third and got pregnant last October, found out it was a missed miscarriage in Jan this year which required d&c. Unfortunately I have retained products for 9 weeks and had to have second d&c in March. I then had a chemical pregnancy in May which was worse than the initial miscarriage as I thought this nightmare was over. Then no luck conceiving for three cycles. Then another chemical pregnancy in August and then just had another missed miscarriage, saw heartbeat at 6 weeks and then nothing at 8 weeks. Had medical management for this three weeks agai but still testing positive so worried about retained products. I am at my wits end but each time something awful happens but some how we manage to go on and we are more resilient than we think. 20204 has been the most awful year and things have not got better for me. You are not alone in this heartache and just because you have kids does not make your heartache any less to someone who doesn’t have kids and don’t let anyone tell you that. I keep being told this so all bad luck and nothing is wrong but the worry and strain is awful. Praying for you and me x

I would mention about the chemical pregnancy next time you're at the GP. In many trusts they will refer you for testing after 3 miscarriages so it's useful to get this one logged as an early miscarriage if that's the way it goes.

I had an early MC at 8 weeks, a MC at 12 and then a chemical pregnancy. Tests showed my blood was prone to clotting so I had blood thinners for my next pregnancy which did the trick and led to my DD being born at 39 weeks.

Sorry you're in this situation. Don't lose hope. Have you talked to a therapist about your miscarriage experience? I think it's helpful to talk traumatic stuff like this through with someone impartial who you can download all your thoughts to.