Scared of trying again

[Blondewave]

Hello - I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks the start of the year…it took months…so many scans and then I had to have two lots of tablets for medical management. The experience was traumatising I bled for months and had an injection after and multiple courses of anti biotic. It created a wedge with myself and partner as he just didn’t understand.

I am 35 I do have two children already and am aware I am so lucky. My first is 13 I conceived him unexpectedly at age 21. My second is nearly 2…i really want him to have a sibling relatively close in age as I saw my older son miss out on that. I conceived my second son in the first month of trying… again aware I’m very lucky.
The baby I lost at the start of the year was concieved first month aswell.

however since then I’m terrified to actually try again…I’m scared of another missed miscarriage…the scans etc. I carried that baby for 3 months unaware anything was wrong. I’ve also convinced myself I won’t conceive as I’m older now. So I am scared to try incase it takes ages. (Basically I really would love another baby - but so scared of trying and so scared of the miscarriage)

Has anyone else felt like this and had a good outcome?

my relationship with my partner has only just repaired and I feel I’m giving my best to my other children now..worried if I have another miscarriage it will affect everything again. However I know the benefits of another child would outweigh the bad if it worked out 🫠 so conflicted!

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice as such, but I've had 3 MMCs now, and trying again is so hard. You have to balance what you feel you can cope with and what is most important to you. I don't have any children yet, but we have put a deadline on keeping trying as it's taken 5 years so far and I'm exhausted, and I don't want to keep feeling this way. With one loss you have to try to remember that your chance of loss next time is no higher, and most miscarriages are a 1 off, and you're likely to have a successful pregnancy next time. Although this is always easier said than done!

Each time you are pregnant it will be a new experience and you will have excitement and hope.

I think every woman instinctively knows her limit. I don't have any empirical evidence for that but feel it is true. You really want another baby and so it doesn't sound to me as if you have reached your limit. So be brave and know that you will be able to cope.