If you had a baby after MC…

[Oxalis00]

…how fo you feel about your MC now? I’m asking as I’m over a year on from my MMC (which was complicated and protracted and medically quite traumatic) and am lucky enough to now have a beautiful baby, but I still find myself responding oddly to other people’s pregnancy news. I feel panicked to hear about early pregnancies because all I can think of is what could go wrong, and I hate seeing scan photos. Is that weird? Will it get better or do I need to do something about it? And what?!

(I realise people who are no longer still in the thick of MC/pregnancy loss might not be on this board, but it feels safe to post here!)

Yeah I still get nervous when I see people announce pregnancy at 8wks! I had many miscarriages and didn’t really feel pregnant until I was about 30wks. It doesn’t really affect me in the sense that I feel like I should do anything about it. I just think it’s one of those things.

I had a MC, baby, MC and then another baby with a disappearing twin. I think until I knew my family was complete I found it difficult.

Thank you both, it’s reassuring to know others have / have had versions of this. Though I’m sorry that you’ve both had to walk the path of pregnancy loss. I would say my family is now complete (baby, MC, MMC, baby) but I think perhaps I do carry some medical trauma as well as that pain of how unfair these things are. But I have so much to be grateful for, and I am. Will try to lean into that instead!

I am still very unsettled about pregnancy news. I had three miscarriages and then a baby boy. I’m now pregnant again and if people tell they are pregnant I still feel a bit upset. I think it’s because I don’t think I will ever be able to relax and enjoy a pregnancy and I feel a bit envious of those who can. I am 17 weeks and still haven’t told my family out of fear.

Yes “unsettled” is a good way to put it @Laurabeee - and I relate to the envy of what at least appears to be confidence and ease in other people’s pregnancies. I suppose I thought it would go away once I’d had a successful pregnancy, and I don’t plan to have any more children, so it surprises me to still have these feelings and reactions. But of course that doesn’t take away or undo the experience of loss, and it’s after effects. Really appreciate hearing other’s descriptions of similar.

Good luck with your pregnancy @Laurabeee - I hope you can somehow find some peace and be present in it x

I feel like I've made my peace with my losses (three in a row) now that I finally have my rainbow. I'm beyond lucky. She is perfect.

She is my second baby and our family is now complete which is an enormously comforting feeling.

I still feel sick when people make pregnancy announcements. I don't know why as it's not like I'm struggling anymore. It's a strange hang up.

I don't think I do personally.
I had MMC, MC, Baby and currently pregnant.
I think I just think wow I wonder if people realise how fortunate they are to have not had any complications and live naively thinking it's easy to have a baby...and I get irritated with tactless comments (probably hypersensitive) like a colleague the other day who is heavily pregnant saying her and her DH are petrified because they're still not sure if they have done the right thing but having a baby!

I think it's one of those things where unless it's happened to you, you have no idea what it's like!