Life after miscarriage, trying again……

[Kate3150]

I’m looking for some advice really.

I’ve had more miscarriages than successful pregnancies and I’m trying again.

I’m anxious about being pregnant again and just carrying on life normally with the baggage of anxiety of miscarrying again.

I’m nervous about being somewhere and it happening and managing that.

Any advice would be greatly welcomed 💜

All I can say is it's hard but you find a way. Total time TTC for me is 4.5 years with 3 MMCs and no children. I just try to give myself other goals and things to focus on. Me and my partner have also now put a deadline in for ending TTC as it has been so draining and has definitely hampered my enjoyment of life. That deadline has given me a huge sense of relief.

@moosey89 - Thank you for replying to me 💜
That’s how I’m feeling about it all at the moment, like the whole process of TTC casts a dark cloud of uncertainty and worry over life and the feeling of vulnerability is overwhelming at times.
I never thought the process would be this hard.

@Kate3150 I totally get it - it really sucks that something that comes so easily to some can be such a horrible and hard journey for others, often with seemingly no explanation. I have to say - whilst I am exhausted by the whole experience, the longer it's gone on the more I'm used to managing it. My second loss was probably the worst. I now have now no clue how I'd handle another loss. If I do get pregnant before the deadline that we've put in to stop trying, I think that might be the end of my journey to have a biological child. Life has so much to offer and it's exhausting being in this cycle of loss and uncertainty.

@moosey89 - Do you mind me asking when you saying managing it, do you mean the physical or emotional side or both?
The physical aspect fills me with fear, the emotional aspect I find easier but the actual process of miscarrying, I can’t bare thinking about.

@Kate3150 I don't mind at all. I guess I mean finding ways to keep life moving forward and not feeling constantly anxious and unsure about the future. I have chosen surgical management of all 3 of my missed miscarriages - miscarrying naturally still completely terrifies me, but I also know without taking the risk of that happening I have zero chance of having a baby. I always think that when people say "you're so strong" or "so brave" - like, what choice do we have? We have to keep going if we want a baby 🤷

@moosey89 - I wish I could be more like that, I find myself being dragged back into the hole of anxiety quite easy when actively TTC again.
I’ve had surgical and miscarriage at home.
M/C at home I’m still actually processing, it was a long time ago but not an experience I would ever want to repeat which is probably why my anxiety sky rockets.

@Kate3150 how long have you been trying for/how many losses have you had? I've found whilst each is tough, the longer it goes on and the more losses I've had, the quicker I bounce back xx

@moosey89 - I’ve had 2 over the years.
Im an anxious person anyway, so TTC, miscarriage worry etc just exasperates it all!
I might look into some CBT to help, it’s helped me in the past.
Thank you for letting me waffle on, it does help 🙂

@Kate3150 waffle away anytime! I'm exactly the same, TTC has taken up so much of my time/life/headspace that I need outlets otherwise I think I'd explode! I'm also an anxious person with a long history TTC, so I definitely understand. I've had several courses of therapy over the last few years, a mix of CBT and talking therapy (some times I feel I need one more than the other if that makes sense). I'd definitely recommend looking into it, where I am therapy has a 100% self referral process so no waiting for a GP appointment either which is so useful! Honestly feel free to post or DM Me whenever. Always happy to support another TTC-er!x