How do you remain positive after a loss.

[SophieRules]

I still haven’t had a period, 5 weeks after I took the pills for medical management. I know it’s normally for things to take a while to regulate again but I’m feeling really low. It’s because it’s the weekend and I can’t distract myself in the same way I can as during the week, my working days starts around 7.30am and is very busy. I have already cried this morning and cried last weekend. It just feels unfair the MMC happened to me and now feels unfair that I’m just waiting for a period/regulation. I then start to spiral and think what if it takes a really long time to regulate or get pregnant again. I just feel so down at the weekends, I even move slower as I just feel so drained. I know I keep saying it’s unfair but it feels unfair that as the woman I’m continually testing for ovulation, continually being hypersensitive to any symptoms and that my husband and doesn’t have to bare any of this physical stuff. That’s not to say I’d want him to obviously but life just seems unfair. I’m also 35 and didn’t meet him till fairly recently so I couldn’t have tried sooner and again it feels unfair that we have this biological clock. So basically just feeling like crap. Hoping others can identify.

I understand all of your feelings, they are completely valid! I just try to keep busy, and give myself other things to try to focus on. I find the first 2 cycles after loss horrible. Hormones are still all over the place, you feel like you're constantly waiting and just totally out of control about the whole situation. Sending huge hugs xx

I think life is very unfair and it is OK to feel pissed off about that.

Five weeks is very recent, it is early days.

Take good care this weekend, maybe plan out the time between now and work so that you know what you are doing when.

Thank you, I had a lovely day with friends and family today and feel much better. Ups and downs.

Ohh @SophieRules I completely understand. I feel so similar. My first pregnancy ended in MMC diagnosed at a scan in July after seeing a heartbeat at 7 weeks. I've just turned 39 and met my now husband only 3 years ago and totally have the same feelings about it being unfair with friends having second and third babies.
I am just having my first period now 12 weeks after the surgical management in July. I had got into a panic about Asherman's syndrome a couple of weeks ago, drank too much at a family party and ended the night crying over my mum. All of this to say it's such a journey, please try and be kind to yourself. My husband admitted last night he didn't take into account the length of recovery I've been through. He's very practical and just keen to start trying again. It's a lot!

I get it, I've had 7 pregnancies now and I have 1 DC. I get the anger, I get the sadness, I get the unfairness. I would not wish it on anyone. I hit a point where at my last surgery I asked the anaesthetist for a loyalty card. I've lost count the amount of times I thought everything was well because I was so sick, only to have bad news.

The only thing I would suggest is that - don't feel sad or apologetic for any of those emotions.

I found getting out and about good, and on the hard days, just cried and let it out. I told people the truth when asked and found a lot more support than anticipated.

Posters on here are also amazing. I count myself as one of the lucky ones. I have an amazing DC who gets cuddled and squeezed harder every year! There is hope x

I am currently going through my first loss, it started last night. I’m shocked, sad, scared for the future, I feel alone and guilty that my body did this. I’m currently in bed crying on and off. I’m so worried that this will happen over and over again. It’s a scenario that seems all too common on these threads and I’m not sure I’m resilient enough to go through that. Should I speak to my GP, is there anything they can do? I’m at a loss x

I’m sorry SRH and it’s still so raw for you. I promise you will better in time but there are ups and downs, when I posted that it was a low but I feel better now. I think speaking to your GP is a good idea, but with one loss I’m not sure they will do any investigation as more often than not it is just bad luck :(

Yes I definitely feel ups and downs. Yesterday I got through the day without really dwelling on it. Today I feel raw and angry. Angry that we had to go through this and that we have to try again. It makes me feel like a failure. Sending love to you xx