Considering ttc again after loss dh not keen

[GunesM]

Hi I am 37 with 3 lovely grown boys. İ have always wanted a 4th since early 30's but dh only come round to the idea last year when we stopped using protection a year on i found out I was pregnant and just couldn't get excited went into a kind of prenatal depression made dh life hell for a while but found out I had a mmc at 9 weeks resulting in a d&c just last week we are both heartbroken dh now says after the hormonal spiral i couldn't control having more isn't such a great idea and he doesent want to try again my youngest is 10 and i long for a little one again am devastated by my loss guilty I didnt feel excited at the time and now feel like hes going to punish me by calling it a day I have no idea if when it's would be safe to ttc again but as dh is no longer keen feel i cant even think about it but for me its all that's İn my mind i have a huge amount of love to give and now no baby to give it too anyone any advice on how we work through this as age is not on my side anymore

I'm sorry you've been through a miscarriage, they are hell. Your guilt is normal but ultimately misplaced, you didn't do anything wrong.

Your husband isn't punishing you. He wasn't keen in the first place and losing a baby will affect him too. He's not unreasonable for not wanting another child. It would be unfair of you to guilt him into another child he doesn't want and unfair on the child too.

There are many resources available now for miscarriage support, I think you would benefit from using them to help assuage your guilt.

I would never guilt him into more children like before while he wasn't on board we were very cautious as i wouldn't want a pregnancy/child journey he didnt want to be equally part of. But eventually he decided yes it would be nice to have another and what a blessing a child is and how much joy it could have brought us during my pg that i have lost he was so excited to be going on that journey again even felt it was our first girl and how much she may look like me his heart was fully in it i feel my hormonal spiral lots of women experience during first trimester is what put him off everything in life is temporary just like those harder days and these days of loss are. But for me it feels like a bigger blow than just looseing a very wanted baby as i will have no hope for the future now and this feeling is extremely painful