Struggling to cope emotionally after early miscarriage

[Username19964]

Hi lovely ladies!
So last month I found out I was pregnant. This was my first pregnancy. I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks and have been going back and forth for scans and bloods because basically I didn’t bleed as much and there were some retained products. They had to rule out molar pregnancy and ectopic. They’re still monitoring my HCG. It has now dropped a bit more so they are just calling it a pregnancy of unknown location. All of this has caused me a lot of anxiety and unexpected feelings and I’m not just struggling emotionally to move past it. My sister has been extremely supportive through out all this and I’m so thankful for her.
I thought I was doing ok However my sister in law delivered her baby yesterday and this morning my sister announced that she’s pregnant with her second baby for which she’s only tried for a short amount of time.
That was my breaking point. I felt like the universe is rubbing it in my face. I’m so happy for both my sister and SIL. I just feel it’s unfair that everyone around me is pregnant or getting pregnant and here I am. I feel awful for feeling this way because I know it’s not in anyone’s control and neither is it anyone’s fault. I just feel devastated. This afternoon spent hours just being alone at home and bawling my eyes out to the point I feel numb. Please someone tell me it gets better. I feel like there’s no purpose left in life for me. I just don’t know how to feel anymore. I feel the lowest I have ever felt in my life. I’m usually a very strong person but this is just too much for me. Please someone tell me how this gets better and that there will be better days to come.

@Username19964 sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 ❤️ . I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be really difficult situation. Yes it does get better...... eventually x just have to hang in there m cry if you need to, herr if you want to talk x

I promise this gets better. I’ve been TTC for over 3 years, IVF for 2 of those due to various issues. I had a miscarriage at 8+5 last November. It was my first pregnancy after all that time and losing it was brutal. I remember crying on Christmas morning alone because I still felt so sad, all while downstairs my brother and his partner were moaning about how difficult things were with their 4 month old and it annoyed me so much. Honestly time heals, I slowly have felt better and better and got the courage to continue IVF. Don’t feel bad about feeling things are unfair, they are and it’s shit.

Oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I promise it won’t always feel so horrid. I’ve been through 2 mc, no children yet, and my 2nd was similar to you with mentions of molar, ectopic…it’s a lot to have to process on top of getting to grips with the pregnancy ending. I too am surrounded by close family & friends having their 2nd baby. It’s such a struggle but you will get through it, and the odds are SO in your favour that when you’re ready you’ll go on to have a successful pregnancy.
Take care and wishing you all the best x

Sorry to hear of your loss. Over time the intensity of the emotional pain does lessen. I have had three miscarriages and was surrounded by pregnant women with due dates very close to me. I really struggled listening to them moan about pregnancy and still find it difficult to see them even though I had my son not too long afterwards. It is such a hard time and nothing might make you feel better but please don’t lose hope. I hope you get good news soon x

Thank you. Crying has really been therapeutic and I’m finally somewhat starting to make sense of it all. I am trying to just get through each day as it comes and not trying to overthink anymore. X

It’s comforting to know that I’m not being selfish or horrible by feeling this way seeing other people with their babies all around me. The guilt was really driving me crazy. Thank you for also agreeing with me that things are unfair because I feel like not many people understood that. I wish you all the best on your IVF journey and pray that things work out for us. Xx

Thank you for your kind words and support. It does mean a lot. I was just feeling so lost and broken. I still am but maybe I think I’m starting to heal now. Thank you once again ☺️

I suppose the intensity of the pain is starting to fade away a bit now. It does creep up on me every now and then but I’m really trying hard to not let it get to me as much. I’m so happy to hear that you had your son not too long afterwards. This gives me a lot of hope. I’m just focusing on my relationship with my husband and just bonding with him all over again and just trying to make the most of my little moments with him as that’s what really matters the most to me right now. I hope I do too! Thank you once again. Xx

@Username19964 sending the biggest of hugs x 🫂💐🙏❤️

Hey OP.. I got pregnant and bled around 6 weeks, had a scan and everything was ok. I thought, this is it it’s all fine. Went back a couple weeks later and there was no heartbeat. I thought it had passed then another scan revealed it hadn’t, had to go through surgical management.. that was horrific for me.. had another MC… took 18 months to get pregnant, then had 2 x chemical/ early MC. Got referred to recurrent MC department (waiting list was almost 1 year!) every time I saw a pregnancy announcement or even a newborn my heart broke! 2 months after the last one I found out I was pregnant. I was an absolute wreck the whole time . Our now 21 month boy is cheeky and amazing ! Then , 6 months after he was born I found out I was pregnant again, with twins ! The biggest surprise but the most amazing. You never forget the past trauma, for me it stayed with me through both pregnancies. It’s still there but it’s easier now. It’s not that easy for everyone, but I feel so blessed after such heartache I have my amazing babies. I hope you are ok , never lose hope xx

It does get easier and for me some days were better than others. I received counselling via a local charity which was a huge support. I also got a certificate and bought a soft toy which I sometimes sit with 🤷‍♀️ it's comforting for me. I haven't managed to look at my scan pictures since yet but I know I will. It is a journey that no one wants to go through but you will get through it amd there is support out there ♥

Thank you for your message. im so sorry you have been through so much! Honestly it’s a lot to deal with. I’m so so so happy to hear that you have been blessed with a boy and twins!!! ❤️
even though it’s been over a month now it still feels difficult hearing pregnancy announcements, still makes me feel so angry when people complain about their pregnancy symptoms or morning sickness. It’s like they’re being so ungrateful and what I would have done to be in that situation.
I just think this feeling will always be there in the background and I’ll just learn to live with it.

Ah I never ever looked back at my scan pictures. I can’t bring myself to do it. It feels too much to do. Even though I’m slowly getting used to it and getting better it still feels difficult.
im glad to hear from you and that you are better now x