advice on medical options for miscarriage

[Nosejug]

Hello, after three years of TTC, a failed IVF, and a subsequent spontaneous pregnancy in the next cycle, we were told at our scan (6+6) that there was no fetal pole, just yolk sac. The nurse/doctor confirmed that there should have been a heartbeat, we were sure on dates. Would have been 8 weeks today. This coming Monday we have our second scan to confirm the MC 11 days after. We know whats coming despite still unwisely clutching at about 2% fantasist hope. I'm just wondering (if I don't naturally miscarry before then) which option would be better, drugs or surgical. I'm worried about the risks of surgical especially after a massive haemorhage (several blood tranfusions & platelets) last halloween cause by an artery being cut on my cervix during lletz treatment. But also worried about what the drug version might be like bleeding-wise. I'm basically afraid of a heavy period never mind miscarriage, and am thinking a bit of advice might be helpful. Thanks.

I would go for surgical (and let them know your bleeding concerns)

• it's more predictable

-periods back 4-5 weeks later

• less traumatic
• you can organise your life around it knowing the date etc

I had one in July after mmc blighted ovum not even fetal pole wasn't there just the empty sac. I would 100% get surgical again it was totally fine

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. I went through a MMC in August and it was the sadest time. I hope you have good people around you. I went with the surgical option and was glad that I did. Agreed, that it is predictable and painless. I understand there are more risks, but it's really a very standard easy procedure. I think the people at more risk are those that have had the EPRC procedure multiple times. I've never taken the tablets, but from what I've read it can be very painful and unpredictable. I would recommend listening to the 'Worst Girl Gang' ever to hear other womens' experiences with the tablets. All the best and look after yourself x

I am very sorry for your loss.
When I was facing this I opted for surgical but DID have to go Private as there were no beds at the NHS hospital. A friend of mine was treated in an NHS hospital and had a very bad experience, had to wait in a room with ladies who were having terminations, very little pain relief and sent home very quickly.
This was some years ago though

I’m so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much.
I had a MMC at 12wks. I opted for drugs and didn’t regret the choice.
My reasoning was that the whole pregnancy had felt unreal. I had been horribly sick but other than that it felt like I had imagined the whole thing. Therefore I wanted to be awake and experience the end of it. It was a slightly different situation for me as there was a foetus, that I got to see and say goodbye to. The process was not painful physically. Just a lot to go through emotionally. But something I felt I needed.

Just do what you feel is right for you. It’s not much of a choice one way or another. This situation is not what you chose. Do whatever feels kindest to yourself. Good luck xx

Over 5 miscarriages I've done all 3 options. I'd still prefer a natural miscarriage over medical or surgical. I chose medical (tablets) after a natural miscarriage where I ended up hemorrhaging but I still ended up with an overnight stay in hospital. I'll never have another baby now - my family is completed but for me it's natural as it's the most guaranteed way of needing least medical intervention and carries the smallest surgical risk.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 3 MMCs and had surgical management each time as for me I find it best to separate the physical and emotional sides of a loss. It's different for everyone though. I've had no side effects from any of my surgeries, the procedure is really quick and risks of issues in the surgery itself is very low. Do speak to the doctors about your fears of bleeding etc though as they can talk you through everything. Another thing to note is that with medical management sometimes you need surgery after anyway if the miscarriage is incomplete. Not sure how common this is (didn't research it as I didn't choose the medical management route) so something else to consider/ask.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and your kind hearted replies. It definitely doesn't feel like a choice in terms of, I didn't choose this. I'll keep thinking and re-reading and try to make a decision. I would have waited for natural, but it seems that my body still thinks I'm pregnant, and I know from scouring women's stories that I could wait till 12 weeks and still nothing. As time is really running short for us (very low amh for my age) the best choice may be the expedient choice. I reallly take on board the words about things feeling unreal. Though there was a day this week I sort of felt a huge urge to say goodbye to the little thing. I do worry there will have been slow progress that will drag this situation out, but thanks to all your replies I'm better informed for when o have my scan, and I'll take it from there. Oh and I'll check out that podcast, thanks xx

I second this. I felt in control. But I was also severely sick for 16 weeks so didn’t want to wait three weeks for the DNC

I’ve had 2 medical managements and chose that method over surgical. For me surgical would have been more traumatic. I would not have coped with the anaesthesia.
Both of mine, whilst not pleasant, were over relatively quickly and not particularly painful. Like bad period cramps. I preferred it being as natural as possible.
Im sorry for your loss

So sorry you’re facing this. I’ve had 2 mc, both times I had RPOC and both times I initially opted for medical management, both times it failed and I needed surgical management which I did find distressing. The medical management wasn’t painful for me, just a few cramps, but a lot of bleeding a large clots which was alarming first time around. Surgical management was scary the though of having GA but ultimately for me got my body/cycles back on track much quicker, and they took such good care of me. Ultimately my advice is go with your gut on what feels right for you.
Take care and wishing you all the best x

Thanks again for the further advice. We just had confirmation of mmc and all your responses have helped me feel like I've thought through the options and what works best for me and my experiences and needs to get trying again.

I'll ask all the risks involved and look at timeline for treatment, but probably will opt for surgical. I've had GA a few times now for operations on my cervix and egg retrieval. As a person who was obsessed with the process of falling asleep as a kid, and an insomniac in my 20s, I think I quite enjoy GA.

Thanks so
Much for your help everyone. I'm so sorry you all had to go through it too, but wow, the supportive words and advice via experience is incredible to receive. Makes me feel not alone. Thanks again x