Facing the waiting room after bad news at scan.

[nildesparandum]

Excuse me posting on here but I am doing it on behalf of my granddaughter who is not on MN
Last year she suffered a missed miscarriage, discovered on an early ( 9 weeks)scan.It was her first baby.She and her partner sat waiting to go in full of hope and happiness.The scan revealed their baby had no heart beat and had died a week earlier.Understandningly they were both very very upset, and she was in floods of tears in the scan room.They had to leave by the same waiting area, and not only are upset by the eager happy couples waiting to go in, but she said she felt she was unnerving them as they could see she and hr partner had been given bad news, she was still sobbing and could not stop.
She has just told me about this yesterday ( She told me about the loss of her baby when it happened).She is now feeling guilty about the upset she may have caused to the waiting couples.
She and I both say that there should be another way of leaving the scan room for couples in her situation, I know lack of space in hospitals is a problem.
She did say she got very sympathetic treatment from the hospital staff.She and her partner were asked to return to the hospital the next day for another scan to confirm their baby's death and for the necessary removal of the tiny body, she had chosen to have this done under GA so it was all over quickly.
I am just wondering if anyone here has felt this way after bad news
Please forgive my ignorance I am 80 years old and things were different in my day,Scans had not been invented then!

Unfortunately it's not uncommon for this to happen and many people in the waiting room would know of that heartbreak. Personally I'd feel sympathy.

Maternity services don't seem to take this into account even though it's so common. A friend of mine lost her baby at two weeks and had to wait in the maternity waiting room so she could have her de brief. Cruel is not sufficient a word for that treatment! I spent her waiting time texting to try to distract her as she wasn't able to have anyone there in person either.

That must have been incredibly hard for her.
I attended a scan last week to be told there was no heartbeat. I was thankful that my appointment was late in the day and the waiting room was amply.
Thankfully, as my local hospital is large, the ward to return for surgery is located no where near the maternity ward.
It is little things like this which do really help when overwhelmed.
A very close friend, knowing that she would not be able to carry the baby to full term, had to wait for further scans in the maternity ward. It’s heartbreaking to think of this.
I hope your granddaughter is okay.

Not quite the same but they do actually do this at my vets or try to... if you have bad news they pop you out via a different exit door. I unfortunately had to come back and pay a bill and cry my way through reception. I totally get what you are saying I suppose the issue is how they manage that within the confines of what they have. Ideally you would have different entrance and exit routes.

I’m so sorry for your grand daughter’s loss, and her experience. There is NHS guidance that says there should be a discreet exit available for patients who have had bad news but unfortunately in older buildings this just isn’t always possible. At the very least your grand daughter and her partner should have been offered the use of a ‘quiet room’ where they could have taken their time to be able to compose themselves before they left the department.

It's not just people getting bad news at the scans would benefit from having multiple entries.
Lots of hospitals combine prenatal services and gynaecology.
The day I was told I needed an urgent hysterectomy (I'm childless) because my cancer wasn't behaving was bad enough. But just to add to it I had to not only walk through but sit in the waiting room with around 10 visibly pregnant women and their partners. It was hell.

Ditto the day I was told I had cancer.

@nildesparandum I'm sorry for your granddaughters loss. Its truly heartbreaking when you have to go through the maternity unit after bad news. Sending hugs x

Thankyou all for your kind replies.My granddaughter says she will never forget the baby she lost.Hoping she has a successful pregnancy next time.

When I went for a second scan to check for possible sinister news after a breast screen, I noticed some couples who went in before me didn't re emerge whilst others did. I then noticed out of the window, one of the women who hadn't re emerged, in tears in the car park. She had obviously had bad news and had left by another exit to shield both herself and presumably the rest of us.
I would have thought this was normal protocol in circumstances such as your granddaughter experienced too. It seems very harsh she had to go through the ordeal so publicly. I hope they are both doing okay by the way.

So sorry for the loss.

I have been shown out another exit in similar circumstances and was told at the time that it was the normal protocol. There was a little room where I could sit and compose myself before leaving, too, with two chairs and a box of tissues. I'm in the US though.

I have been through the same.
Loss Abe sharing same waiting room, but now we have a separate problem clinic.

I’m sorry for your granddaughter’s loss and know how painful that walk out of the hospital is.

I had a feeling something wasn’t right when I went for my scan and found it hard sitting with my anxiety and nerves in the waiting room as couples came out with their scan photos. Once we had the news the hospital did allow us to sit in a quiet room and we were v. fortunate that we were the last appointment of the day so no one else was around when we left in floods of tears.

My husband also said thinking of the other happy couples with their photos and leaving with nothing was one of the hardest bits for him, so I do wish there was a better solution - scan photos in envelopes with a reminder to be mindful of others (though perhaps that feels like raining on someone else’s parade)?

In the moment I think I’d have said yes to a separate exit route, but in hindsight I think it might have made me feel ‘other’ or shameful somehow, like something to be hidden, which is an overall feeling that accompanies miscarriage (for me anyway!). The quiet room was the best option and I’d encourage anyone to ask (if it’s not offered) for somewhere quiet to sit to collect their thoughts. x

When I had my 4th miscarriage. Also at 9 weeks but Baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. The walk to the little quiet room was awful. I literally kept my eyes to floor the entire time walking past everyone else that was sat in waiting room. My follow up scan was done in the actual ultrasound department and sitting there watching every other couple come out and come over to the print machine, excitedly choosing which scan pics to print out. Was both heartbreaking and gut wrenching knowing that when I went in for my scan that even with all the hope in the world and the previous scan was wrong there would still be a dead baby inside me. It didn't help matters when the sonography came out and asked me if I was excited to see my Baby again. I just mumbled to her to read my notes. I had the scan and was breezily told the sac had collapsed and to go back up to EPAU and then left on my own. I chose to miscarry naturally but 5 weeks later my tests were still positive. I had to go back to the EPAU for another scan which showed retained tissue so I was given medication and re scanned again about 5 days later. Whilst I was waiting for my final scan there was another couple, full of hope, sat opposite me who went in before I did. They came out and went into the same room I had been in 5 weeks earlier. I was heartbroken for them.

Thankyou all again.My granddaughter seems to be coping better now and is back at college,It is just one a year since her loss.
So sorry for all of you as well.