Miscarriage today and no one to talk to

[Fingerscrossed24]

Hi . I am currently having a miscarriage at 5.5 weeks . I thought it was coming as I’d been to the epau last Thursday with bad pain in one side . They scanned me and saw nothing at all but I had a tiny bit of hope as it may have been too early to see anything. But they did my bloods and was very low. It only went up by 40 in two days so I knew it was bad news . I had a tiny bit of blood yesterday that has got worse and worse . Today more tests and confirmed miscarriage but probably not ectopic which is good. Weird but yesterday all my pregnancy symptoms just disappeared so I just knew this was going to be the outcome. Now bleeding quite heavy and quite painful cramps .
Nobody knows about any of this and Ive just been sitting here for hours crying . In shock , feeling guilty and can’t believe the grief already . I only found out I was pregnant 2.5 weeks ago and it’s over already . It felt so nice being pregnant I just loved that feeling it was so special. Thankyou for reading I just needed to write it all out as I have no one to tell. Any advice how to get through this will be very welcome as this is just devastating.

I am really sorry for anyone going through a miscarriage and also to anyone contemplating giving up on the idea of a/another child. It’s really hard. Sending 💐

I'm so sorry for your loss xx sending you hugs from afar to all you lovely ladies

Thanks for the kind messages . I really do feel depressed now. This whole year has been absolutely horrendous. Feel like just giving up completely 😔

@Fingerscrossed24 This is not your fault, you did not and do not deserve this. Be kind to yourself now, treat yourself like you would if you were your best friend. Let yourself grieve, but also let yourself heal. There is still light and hope, give yourself time. Sending you a big hug x

I understand that Fingers
It’s a tough time.

Im sorry.

(similar situation as you)
you keep going though don’t you, you have to.
Best wishes to you for the future xx

I'm so sorry OP, I am in the same boat, going through a loss just now at age 41 and sure it is was my last chance. It is so heartbreaking

I'm so sorry for your loss OP

How are you doing today ? How
many weeks along where you ? 😔

I found out on wed there was no heartbeat since 10 weeks when I thought I was 12 weeks. I had found out the day before from NIPT results that it was high risk for down syndrome. Last year I had a termination for medical reasons at 17 weeks as the baby had patau syndrome so I was grateful that it didn't have to be my decision this time. I'm still waiting to miscarry as I had a trip planned to London with my 5 year old son this weekend and didn't want to let him down so I told the hospital I was going to wait and go into hospital when I get back if I haven't fully miscarried. I'm still just light bleeding. I'm scared of what is to come practically with being away from home and that is distracting me from the emotional pain that I know is so much worse. I can't believe this has happened again and it took me 10 months to get pregnant both times so I have no time and I'll sure my eggs are all abnormal due to my age. When I was 35 I got pregnant 1st try but since 39 it has been so difficult. I don't think I can go through this again. How are you feeling today?

Oh gosh, @citysloth , I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s so much to deal with isn’t it. What a journey you’ve been on. I hope you’re feeling okay.
The looming issue of age is difficult, and then I was chatting to another mum at pick up today and after reference to a birthday, I’ve quickly calculated she was 43 when having her daughter. Despite telling myself I’m done now…these sums still dance around my head to offer some reassurance.
I really do hope you manage to enjoy your time away with your son. Sending hugs.

I'm so sorry. X

Thank you. Yes it's the hope that kills us though isn't it. Lots of people do have a healthy pregnancy in their 40s but I feel like those people get pregnant easier than me. I don't really want to give up but it really takes it's toll on your mental health, the trying and obsessing over ovulation etc too. After my loss last year my period didn't come back for 13 weeks and that's time I don't have. My head is all over the place just now as I'm sure you can relate to. I hope you're doing okay xx

So sorry to hear of everyone's losses. Do you mind me asking how they discovered you're mmc? How many weeks and did your pg symptoms continue