Miscarriage advice

[S1417]

Last week I suffered a miscarriage after being 8.5 weeks pregnant. Firstly I experienced the normal pregnancy symptoms throughout the 8 weeks, nothing was ever out of the ordinary, after hitting my 8 week mark I suffered cramps, but convinced myself these were growing pains, however the got worse, and were accompanied by bleeding, I went straight to A&E where they said this could be implantation bleeding or a miscarriage and booked me for a scan in 5 days time. I couldn’t wait that long so booked myself for a private scan, during this we saw the baby in the womb measuring at 6.5 weeks (they said this could have been due to dates or that the baby had stopped growing), there was also no heartbeat (again this could be due to being too early) and the baby was sitting low, a miscarriage was not entirely expected and was advised to go to my internal scan. An hour later I experienced the miscarriage.

I was terribly heartbroken and still am, trying to process life without the bump or baby is difficult but I’m so hopeful I can be strong and face another pregnancy.

Would love to hear some stories of how others got through it. I am open to any advice.

Firstly, so very sorry to have experienced this. Not sure why they even suggested this could be implantation bleeding, since this would have happened well before you were 8.5 weeks pregnant! The NHS system sometimes really annoys me because they come out with some really daft suggestions at times. Booking you in for a scan in 5 days when you were 8.5 weeks pregnant and bleeding is not good enough in my view and I would have booked a private one too!

Regarding the private scan, if it’s always so nice to be optimistic but if you were short of your dates there is a lot of difference between 6.5 and 8.5 weeks but I guess they air on the side of caution!

I had a missed miscarriage last year. I had all pregnancy symptoms and felt quite well, no bleeding or cramping. I went in with my partner at 12.5 weeks for my first scan, all excited and ready to see baby and there was just a large sac with a six week embryo and no heartbeat. They confirmed this the following week. It was absolutely heartbreaking so i absolutely get where you are with your feelings.
it left me with a huge feeling of negativity towards the NHS system for not offering earlier scans.
The one thing I will say is that, sadly, it is a club that a lot of us are members. Really shocking the number of women who have had to go through experiences like yours and mine But take comfort from the fact that you absolutely not alone. You will recover, although it will probably take longer mentally than physically, and hopefully go onto successful pregnancies in the future, as most do.
in the meantime, I am sending you hugs and hope xxx

I suffered a miscarriage last week too. I was 10 weeks. I'm still unsure how to process. I still feel very nauseus and tired.
Do you have other children or was this your first pregnancy?
I don't really have any advice but I'm here if you want to talk. It's shit isn't it.
I feel quite guilty too as the pregnancy wasn't planned and I felt bad for not appreciating being pregnant.

Hi, @Wavescrashingonthebeach I’m so sorry you have had to experience this too. Yes this was my first, which is difficult as it defiantly makes you questions your ability to have children in the future. Thank you for the offer to chat, it’s nice to talk to people who have experienced the same, although I have a huge amount of support it’s nice to hear from those who have had similar experiences. I’m sorry you are feeling guilty if it wasn’t planned I could imagine it being a shock.

Hi @Carportforme, thanks for sharing your experience, sorry to also hear you had to suffer a miscarriage, as time goes on in the pregnancy you become more attached, so I am so sorry you had to find out so late also.

Yes, I was extremely upset, when they first told me 5 days I thought to myself, the stress alone in those 5 days is likely to cause something to go wrong with the pregnancy if it hasn’t already!

I never realised how common it was, especially in first time pregnancies, and although it doesn’t make it any easier it definitely adds some reassure that this is a common thing unfortunately 😔

I learned stories brave women who miscarried 10 or more times. It's so common. It gave me courage to try again (with successful outcome). The likelihood is your next one will be fine. In the meantime give yourself a rest

You are so right, it is a lot more common than many people believe, it is just that very few people talk about it. I have met a lot of women who have experienced the same since I had mine.
Doesnt make it any easier though to get through so take care of yourself and just take each day as it comes x

So sorry to hear of your loss. It’s essentially grief so time will ultimately help you, I promise you won’t always feel as horrendous as you do now. Be kind to yourself as you’re in the thick of it trying to process everything. I’ve had 2 mc, after my first I thought there was no way I could get through another, but I have, and now starting to feel strong enough to try again.
The odds are in your favour that your next pregnancy will be a successful one. I wish you all the best xx