I feel cheated...

[LuLu15]

I had a mc in February and am doing ok apart from the fact that now everybody either thinks they know we're ttc/doesn't understand why we wouldn't want to get pregnant again straightaway. I'm still confused myself as to where to go next - being pregnant would be such a stressful time after our last experience so I don't know whether to just enjoy my 3 year old dd and see where life takes us. Anyone been in the same boat and could let me know what they decided?

Are you really doing ok? have you given yourself time to grieve for the baby you lost?

Of course, being pregnant would be hugely stressful, for the full nine months, but if you do decide that it is what you want, you can get through it. (if you look on my profile, you will see the two littles ones both conceived after my miscarriage)

People don't understand unless they have been through the same thing - and even then not necessarily, because everyone feels things differently. What does your other half think?

Sorry for your loss.

xx

I understand how you feel. I am lucky to have 2 wonderful sons but always felt I wanted another. However, my DH did not feel the same. Towards the end of last year he changed his mind and we starting trying. I was amazed to fall within a few months of trying. I was so pleased it just felt perfect, like it was meant to be. Sadly is wasn't and I had early m/c 6 weeks ago.

Now, I feel a bit lost and unsure. I'm not sure I could go through it again. But worst still I haven't told my DH who says loosing the baby has made him realise just how much he wanted another one and wants to start trying again asap. He is away with work at the moment so it's not an issue.

Before, I couldn't imagine life without having another baby at some point and now I'm not so sure. I'm so lucky to have 2 happy and healthy DS's and maybe my life is complete.

I'm just taking my time to recover and figure if I do want to try again then I'll know when its right.

As for any others - tell them to leave you alone to deal with your loss. The last thing you need is any pressure.

i think you should try to do all three, tbh; enjoy your three year old, see where life takes you AND give full range to the very genuine emotions that you feel about the loss of another baby that may have been a wonderful experience.
feel it all, it's terribly sad to lose a pregnancy, don't let anyone tell you to get over it etc etc, you take your time.

I took 2 years between each mc which meant when I FINALLY got dd, I was an old crock...BUT I couldn't face the pregnancy thing before the 2 years were up.

You are the only person who can decide for you and people are being a little tactless asking about whether your ttc or hinting about you ttc.

Having said that, I think once people know you're on the baby making train it's hard for them to not ask iywim.

Take care of yourself now, more than ever, because it sometimes take a while for the grief to hit. And sometmes it's just frustration or envy or anger that hits you in the gut. Just go with whatever works for you. And I'm so sorry for your loss.