Hey everyone ❤️.
I'm 24, F, I have a 3y old daughter and had a surgical abortion performed today - I was basically told that it's just a "clean-up". I'm a smoker, (cigarettes), I'm chronically depressed, going on 5Ys this year and i take Venlafaxine 150mg. I did a home pregnancy test, and it was positive (HOORAY!🥺) . I suspected i was 4w at this point, and started bleeding a little, shortly after finding out. I immediately made an appointment by the gynae that delivered my first born, and went to see her. I was her last patient to be seen and she had no patience at this point, I paid 2K to see her for 5 minutes - she confirmed I was pregnant via ultrasound and my little bean could be seen,gave me a prescription for amoxicillin and progesterone, nonetheless I was optimistic about the bleeding stopping and thought it shouldn't be that serious if she just sent me home with a prescription and saw me for 5 minutes. A few days later, I went to pee and when I wiped, there were 2 blood clots. I immediately started shaking - I had a miscarriage a year prior and i could see the little body of my baby. We didn't plan this pregnancy. I contacted her right after , and she told me to go to emergency at the hospital and she'd come and see me there. I rushed in, nurses called her and she referred me to the dr's at the hospital. I had to get a vaginal exam, and was then sent for an ultrasound, after waiting for 5 hours to be seen. Another Dr performed my ultrasound and I asked her if she could tell me anything and she said that the Dr who's looking after me , will let me know. She left the room and I checked the screen and it said the gestational age of my baby was 7ws 4d but i couldn't see my baby anymore, i thought maybe I'm not seeing correctly. Went back to the rooms, they told me i have a blightened ovum and miscarried and admitted me into hospital. My gynae instructed nurses to start me on abortion medication and pain meds. I then refused hospital care, because she didn't even have the decency to talk to me herself and tell me what caused it. I decided to do it naturally at home. On Monday, I had to go in for bleeding ulcers in my stomach, they tested my urine and my pregnancy test was still positive and they referred me back to my gynae. I contacted her and she told me to go to the emergency again and she'll see me there. Got there, i was admitted and i only saw her this morning. She told me my smoking caused my miscarriage...? I feel like it was my fault that my baby didn't make it. I wanted to know , from personal experience, is this true? And what are other reasons for miscarriage? In recovery, i asked to see the little jar in which they put whatever was left of my baby and it broke my heart. Any advice? I'm trying not to allow my depression to hit a low any, but it's getting there