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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Traumatic miscarriage at 13 weeks. Beyond heartbroken.

9 replies

UniquePanda · 13/08/2024 15:59

It was my first pregnancy. I wasn’t expecting it but I was over the moon when I found out. My partner was also excited too. We envisioned our lives with this baby, thought of names, theorised about whether it’d be a little boy or girl… I know I wasn’t that far along but it just feels like my baby was ripped cruelly from me.

It started out as a little bit of spotting, which I knew could be completely normal for a pregnancy. We went to the hospital anyway, and after doing tests on me they found that my womb was partly open which is a clear sign that a miscarriage is in progress. Then the bleeding started, not to be TMI but I could’ve easily filled up buckets of blood.

I had painful and intrusive tests at the hospital, which made me all the more distressed and upset. I couldn’t eat, sleep, breathe, I couldn’t even cry. Just completely shell shocked.

I ended up staying at the hospital for three days since the bleeding wouldn’t stop, I had to have an ultrasound and only when I saw my empty womb did I break down into floods of tears.

Leaving the hospital, I walked past many happy women walking to the antenatal clinic with their maternity notes, looking as happy as ever. This just made me feel worse. Of course, I truly wish them all happy and healthy pregnancies. I hope none of them go through what I just did. But all I could think was why me??

Sorry for the rant guys. I’m just truly devastated and traumatised by the whole ordeal. I’m grieving my baby and hopefully my next pregnancy, whenever that may be, goes well. I just needed to dump my thoughts and experience here in the hopes someone might have some kind words for me at this time. Thanks :)

OP posts:
Chunk23 · 13/08/2024 17:08

So sorry for your loss. I have 2 babies in heaven, I completely understand how you’re feeling. Don’t lose hope for the future X

BlindedByGrey · 13/08/2024 17:12

Oh, @UniquePanda what a horrible experience 💐 I had a mc, and was in hospital abroad. What really helped was telling people and realising how many people it happens to, and how many go on to have healthy pregnancies. I did, a few years later. Let yourself grieve, you will feel better, honest

Sixpence39 · 13/08/2024 17:17

I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. Sounds really physically and emotionally difficult. Sending hugs and hopes for happier news for you soon!

Rycbar · 13/08/2024 17:30

I’m sorry OP. I lost a baby at 9/10 weeks 6 weeks ago and it’s just horrendous. Wed been trying to conceive for a year before this too. I agree with filing buckets with blood and the pain is unbearable.

My period has just returned for the first time so I’m taking that as a positive. Talk about it. Tell people. What I found in the weeks that follow was that no one wants to upset you so they don’t bring it up but actually talkin about it helps!

Mischance · 13/08/2024 17:40

You do not have to apologise. I am so sorry this has happened to you. It happened to my DD who has now given me two lovely grandsons. Hang on in there. But you are allowed to be sad now x

tsmainsqueeze · 13/08/2024 17:52

I am so sorry,i had an early miscarriage with my 3rd much wanted baby it is heartbreaking.
I know this was the baby you wanted and maybe your sadness won't let you see beyond that at the moment but have hope.
One thing that stuck in my head was a midwife telling me there was a 75% chance that she would see me again in the future, she was so positive and hopeful and her words made my sadness a little easier to bare.
When you talk about this you will be amazed at how many women tell you they went through the same and it does make you feel less alone.
For now rest and recover physically and treat yourself kindly, you never forget losing a baby but i promise you that in time you will feel better.

Carportforme · 13/08/2024 22:49

Ooh UniquePanda, so, so sorry to hear. No other words really help in these situations but know tgat we are all thinking of you on here. It is a horrible, horrible thing to happen. I had an MMC in the Autumn and the shock was horrific. I know you will be feeling absolutely terrible but we are all holding your hand here. You will gradually feel physically and mentally better but it will take time and you should absolutely put both your physical and mental needs first. Sending hugs x

OPGsMummy · 14/08/2024 22:23

You poor thing. You’re not alone, I lost my boy at 36 weeks and you will never forget, just learn to live with the fact your baby is in heaven. Dont give up hope, I’m trying not to, reach out for advice/help, you’re entitled to it all and more. Xx

JJM13 · 15/08/2024 20:35

Just to offer some hope I had a horrible missed miscarriage in april 2023 , i had failed medical management and needed a d&c the consultant said to me that most women would go on to have a successful pregnancy and that he would see me next year and here i am holding my 5 week old baby girl.

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