Poor care after late miscarriage

[snappingcroc]

Very long term lurker, making my first post looking for others experiences.

I lost my unborn daughter when I was 17 weeks pregnant earlier on this year. As if that wasn’t terrible enough the care I received in hospital after I gave birth was appalling and has left me further traumatised.

I had a retained placenta. The doctor asked permission to examine me, she didn’t explain what she was going to do (in fact she barely spoke to me) she just simply said she was going to examine me. It turned out that, inexplicably, “examining” me actually meant her manually removing my placenta, without even discussing this with me or asking consent, leaving me feeling shocked and violated. The subsequent nursing care I received was also shocking, insensitive, lacking in empathy and staff speaking to us in a completely unprofessional manner. After thinking about everything for a while I decided to submit a formal complaint, which I have now done.

The whole experience keeps playing over in my head and I’m struggling to process it all. I’m waiting to start some counselling but was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or any advice as to how to manage it?

Thank you

Hi. Last year I too lost my daughter at 16 weeks and was left with a retained placenta. I was taken to theatre and had it done under general anaesthetic and so my care was phenomenal. I would say you need to send in a formal complaint via your hospital trusts pals team. You should have also been assigned a bereavement midwife. When you are ready I suggest you ask for a follow up debrief with the maternity matron. I’m so sorry for your loss. It doesn’t feel like it now, but it will be better. It will get better.

Thank you so much @Nic2908 . I’m so sorry you’ve been through this experience too. It’s the world’s worst club to be in, but it’s comforting to know we’re not alone.

My bereavement midwife is really lovely and has taken my concerns back to the ward manager. I’ve also been in touch with PALS. It’s just so hard to process that the worst experience of my life has been made even worse by the care I had, and it makes me feel so angry 😢

@snappingcroc absolutely, you need to complain formally in order to ensure that someone learns for the future (can you tell I’m an nhs manager 🤣🤣)

I just wanted to say I’m so very sorry to you both for your losses. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more useful to add, but sending you a hug OP 💐