Am i overthinking this or am I right to feel this way?

[justhadenoughx]

i live with my in laws at the moment so can’t escape them any part of the day. i fell pregnant but unfortunately miscarried after a few months. it was really hard for me emotionally and physically especially because i’ve already got two small kids to look after. after the miscarriage i was still getting symptoms and was very tired and lethargic. my iron levels had dropped by a lot and close to needing a blood transfusion bcos loss of blood. (always had anaemia but this made it worse) so i had been sleeping during the day while my kids also went for their nap .. because i’d been sleeping for about a week on and off when my kids do my SIL said to me are you sure your not pregnant and laughed about it. i got quite defensive and said no do i look pregnant and laughed it off. i said to her my iron is really low so im tired. my MIL came into the situation and said no but your acting tired. i said it’s normal for a person to be tired especially when their up on the night with their kids. why is it always me who’s pregnant? (my SIL rudely asked me a few months ago because i said i was tired at 11 at night) isn’t that normal to be tired at 11 or am i superwoman?! i said your other SIL comes from work and sleeps for about 3 or 4 hours straight. do you ask her if she’s pregnant? or is it just me? she then laughed it off and sarcastically said well i won’t be saying that again. i said you shouldn’t be saying it in the first place. (just been through miscarriage) MIL obv stuck up for her daughter and laughed about it and didn’t correct her saying it’s rude to ask that but instead MIL said it’s fine if your family ask if your pregnant and told me to relax. i was fuming but left it as that.

no i never told my in laws about my miscarriage because they don’t care. their very inconsiderate and they don’t deserve to know that about me because i know they’ll carry on as normal which will hurt even more so i decided to keep it between me and my husband.

you don’t know what someone is going through. you don’t know if someone’s been trying for years or if their having miscarriage after miscarriage.
they go around like butter wouldn’t melt.
i just can’t deal with my in laws anymore.

exhausted

I’m sorry for your loss.

I’ve been there, it’s so hard, especially if you don’t have anyone to really talk to about it, or space in which to grieve. Some people said some clangers to me while I was going through everything, and they really stung at the time, but now more time has passed, it doesn’t feel so meaningful.

Gently, I think you may be both right and overthinking a bit (which is totally fine and understandable, as loss can do that to you).

To give your in-laws some credit, you were pregnant, they’re not wrong in their guess — and have clearly noticed you’re not yourself, and this may be a cack-handed way of showing concern. But, yes, it’s also rude to ask especially if you’re not close.

It’s tough as you’re living with them, but try to focus on yourself and processing your feelings right now. Wishing you all the best.