Missed miscarriage: surgical or pills?

[Hrf1503]

Hi all - I’ve had a missed miscarriage diagnosed by private scan. I’m still waiting for my hospital appointment but I’m trying to decide between surgical management or pills and would really appreciate hearing others’ experiences. I’m pretty devastated.

I really want to be able to TTC again straight away after if that’s possible with either option. I had a spontaneous miscarriage previously and I was lucky enough to be able conceive my daughter two weeks later without waiting for my period. Does anyone have any experience of a successful pregnancy straight after either option or would I really need to wait for a period before TTC?

I’m sorry this has happened to you.

your doctors will be able to give you advice on which management option is best considering your personal circumstances

TW: discussion of post miscarriage management

I am so sorry for your loss, I had 3 missed miscarriages around the 9 week mark (and a 4th earlier loss), it's fully your decision of course, chat to your doctors as pp said, but I'll share my experience of both.

Pills - not always fully successful and that can mean returning and ending up having surgery anyway. However if you want to be able to be at home this allows for that. I have had both a natural loss at home and one managed with pills and I found the natural loss less painful and more bearable.

Surgical - risk of complications during procedure (rare) but you have to sign a disclaimer which is unpleasant when you already feel devastated and fragile. In my case I trusted my hospital fully and I felt comfortable to go down this route for two of my missed miscarriages. The pros were I felt I had some sense of closure and the physical recovery felt quicker (although it may not have actually been any quicker in reality). Also easier to arrange for testing to be done afterwards which can be useful information depending on what happens next time.

All four times I conceived again first try. It was of course a very difficult time but fwiw we were blessed with our rainbow baby 5th time lucky. Wishing you brighter times ahead x

Hi @Hrf1503
I am truly so sorry for your loss, my heart goes to you and I hope that you are doing as ok as you can be at this time 💐

I had a MMC last week; pretty much the same situation, private scan as I was experiencing some symptoms and I just didn't "feel" pregnant. They confirmed unfortunately the baby no longer had any heartbeat and within 24 hours I was at the Early Pregnancy Unit at hospital for further scans/confirmation and discussions around the management which they fully let me control.

My advice, with what I know, surgical...
The Medical can be really unpleasant and actually worse than natural mc, I don't know why, but I have had some advice on this and it could be because it's forcing the process, it can be more painful and also as mentioned, it doesn't always work, which only prolongs a truly heartbreaking moment in our lives.
They booked me in for a surgical this Saturday however they warned me that I might miscarry naturally in the meantime. Well - driving home from the hospital, I started cramping and sure enough, by the time I got home, I am pretty sure I was going through the natural process.
Standard procedure is I go back in for my pre-op on Friday and they'll scan me again to see if I have passed everything. If there are any signs it's still present, I believe I'll still be going under on Saturday to clear everything.

I know it's overwhelming right now, but there was a really good post yesterday from another Mumsnetter who outlined the surgical procedure and it gave me some reassurance on this.

But please give yourself some love and know whatever you decide to do will be the right decision for you and if you ever want to chat, please know I am here. I am thinking of you xxx

I had the surgery. It was straightforward. I was 37 and 12 weeks. Baby stopped growing at 11 weeks. I got pregnant the next cycle with dd2

So sorry @Hrf1503 It is devastating.
Ive had both medical & surgical.
Medical the pain was pretty horrific. What I imagine early labour to be. But after it was done quick recovery & no retained product.
Surgical was straight forward & quick recovery.
Personally if I went through it again I’d have surgery as I struggled to manage the pain at home with medical

I had surgical with local anaesthetic. Conceived the cycle afterwards.

I've only had surgical management (3times) as I didn't want to deal with a miscarriage at home, it's my safe space and I didn't want to have it tainted by the pain and bleeding if I didn't have to. I also prefer to separate medical and emotional, so knowing the surgery was over allowed me personally the space to grieve and try to move forward.

I had surgical - very straightforward.

Conceived quickly once we started trying again (took a couple of months break).

Good luck.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. I’m still coming up 3+ on the clear blue so it doesn’t look like it will happen naturally for me so think I’m going to opt for surgical.

I’m so sorry any of you have had to go through this too.

@Blahblah34 sorry for your loss. If you don’t mind me asking did they give you an option for local vs GA? Was the pain manageable with local?

Also again if you don’t mind me asking, did you have a period between your surgical management and conceiving? I hope it’s going well for you this time.

So sorry for ur loss

I very recently suffered an early misscarriage at 11weeks. Baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I opted for surgical intervention and was discharged last night.

I was so unsure what to do but ultimately decided on surgical intervention... I was put under zero pressure from the nurse and was given time if I needed it to decide. i had already started bleeding and in the end I passed the baby myself just as they arrived to take me to theatre. I was admitted the night before the procedure which I'm so so glad about as I was monitored and given fluids/pain relief as required ... the only thing I missed was having my husband there for support during the night.

So my advice would be go surgical. In that 24 hr window I got to experience both naturally miscarrying followed by the surgery to ensure everything had passed. The surgery itself was alot easier to go through than I thot it would be... I never had a GA before so I was very anxious but I informed the staff beforehand and they were brilliant at settling my nerves... they gave me something to relax me as soon as I went into theatre.
The process of miscarrying myself was rather traumatic and painful.. everyone is different but I would recommend d&c if done under GA xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss! I have had 2 missed miscarriages within the last 9 months. Where I am (UK) they always push medical management first before surgery. My first missed miscarriage I had to have 2 rounds of medical management & had little to no bleeding with either (however you do get quite bad cramps) I then had to go for surgical. The second missed miscarriage I had one round of tablets and again little to no bleeding so I said I wanted to go straight for surgery. I did get it after some persuasion.. surgical was very straight forward, quick and easy , yes there is some slight risks but isn’t there with everything 🙈 I personally felt medical dragged the process out so much, I’m not sure where your from or how it works with you but with me and the tablets not working It was literally a month before I was fully sorted! Everyone’s experiance is different & im sure you will choose what is right for you! Thinking of you x